Explain the counselling technique of challenging clients over discrepancies. Discuss its importance, application, and ethical considerations with relevant examples.
In the process of counselling, one important but sensitive technique involves challenging clients over discrepancies in their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Often called “confrontation” in therapeutic literature, this technique is not about criticism or blame, but rather about gently drawing clients’ attention to inconsistencies or contradictions in what they say, feel, or do. When skillfully applied, it fosters client self-awareness and promotes change by helping clients resolve inner conflicts or maladaptive patterns that may be keeping them stuck.
Nature of the Technique
Challenging discrepancies involves the counsellor pointing out contradictions between different elements of the client’s experience, for example:
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Differences between what clients say and what they do.
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Incongruences between verbal and nonverbal communication (e.g., saying “I’m fine” while appearing tense).
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Conflicts between expressed values and actual behaviors (e.g., a client says they want to be healthier but continues harmful habits).
This technique encourages clients to reflect on these mismatches, examine underlying issues, and generate insights that can motivate more coherent and adaptive functioning (Corey, 2021).
Theoretical Background
The use of confrontation developed from Gestalt therapy and humanistic traditions, which emphasize awareness as the cornerstone of change (Perls, 1969; Corey, 2021). Carl Rogers also acknowledged that congruence (genuineness) includes helping clients become aware of their incongruities. In cognitive-behavioral frameworks, dissonance between beliefs and behaviors is a key focus for change strategies.
Application of Challenging Discrepancies
Because it can easily strain the therapeutic alliance, challenging discrepancies is a special technique requiring subtlety, timing, and sensitivity. It is usually introduced after a strong rapport has been established and only when the counsellor judges the client can tolerate honest feedback.
Steps for Effective Use:
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Observation: Carefully notice inconsistencies in client words, emotions, and behaviors.
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Build Understanding: Validate the client’s experience so they feel accepted despite the discrepancy.
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Gentle Challenge: Use soft language or questions rather than accusations, e.g.,
“I notice when you say you’re calm, your body seems quite tense. Can we explore that?” rather than “You’re lying about being calm.” -
Invite Reflection: Encourage client exploration of possible reasons behind the discrepancy.
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Support Insight and Action: Help clients translate new awareness into goals or behavioral changes.
Importance and Benefits
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Enhances Self-Awareness: Many clients operate out of habitual patterns without realizing contradictions that cause distress. Bringing these to light sparks insight.
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Promotes Authenticity: Reduces defense mechanisms and encourages clients to align thoughts, feelings, and behaviors more closely.
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Facilitates Change: Identifying and resolving internal conflicts is often necessary before meaningful progress can occur.
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Deepens Therapeutic Alliance: When done with care, honest confrontation is experienced as respect and genuineness, strengthening trust (Egan & Reese, 2019).
Ethical Considerations
Challenging discrepancies must always respect client autonomy and emotional safety. Misuse—such as premature or harsh confrontation—can cause resistance, rupture, or harm. Ethical practice requires:
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Gauging client readiness and capacity.
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Framing challenges compassionately and respectfully.
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Monitoring client reactions and pacing accordingly.
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Offering support and reassurance throughout the process.
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Adhering to cultural sensitivity as what is perceived as “discrepant” may be influenced by cultural values.
Illustrative Examples
Example 1:
Anita repeatedly states “I’m confident” in sessions but avoids eye contact and speaks hesitantly. The counsellor gently reflects this discrepancy:
“When you say you feel confident, your voice softens and your eyes drop. What comes up for you when you say that?”
This opened space for Anita to recognize underlying self-doubt and ruminations about past failures, which had gone unrecognized.
Example 2:
Ravi is working on healthy boundaries but reports feeling guilty every time he says “no.” The counsellor points out the discrepancy between his stated goals and his emotional experience, inviting exploration:
“You say you want to assert yourself, but you also experience a lot of guilt. What do you think keeps these feelings linked?”
Through this challenge, Ravi became aware of internalized messages from family that linked saying “no” with selfishness.
Integrative Use with Other Techniques
Challenging discrepancies often integrates with reflection and empathy, supporting clients emotionally as they face uncomfortable truths. For example, after gently pointing out a discrepancy, the counsellor might say,
“It sounds like this conflict is really painful for you,” balancing confrontation with understanding.
Conclusion
Challenging clients over discrepancies is a nuanced and potentially transformative counselling technique that fosters self-awareness, authenticity, and change. When practiced ethically and sensitively, it helps clients uncover internal conflicts blocking growth. This technique requires skillful timing and a strong therapeutic alliance but is invaluable in advancing client insight and progress. For counselling students and practitioners, understanding how to apply this technique with empathy and respect is essential for effective and ethical practice.
References
Corey, G. (2021). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (10th ed.). Cengage Learning.
Egan, G., & Reese, R. J. (2019). The Skilled Helper (11th ed.). Cengage Learning.
Perls, F. S. (1969). Gestalt Therapy Verbatim. Real People Press.
Nelson-Jones, R. (2014). Practical Counselling and Helping Skills (6th ed.). SAGE Publications.
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