When Love Asked for a Golden Deer, and Dignity Let Go of a Golden Lanka
By Dr. Manju Antil, Psychologist, Assistant Professor
“In love, the woman asked for a golden deer; but when it came to dignity, she renounced even a golden Lanka.”
This poetic line is more than just a reference to the epic Ramayana—it’s a profound reflection on human psychology, emotions, and the internal conflicts between desire and values. For today’s young generation navigating love, relationships, and self-identity, these words offer timeless insight.
The Golden Deer: The Psychology of Desire in Love
In the Ramayana, Sita sees a magical golden deer and expresses a strong desire to have it. On the surface, it seems like a whimsical request. But psychologically, the golden deer is symbolic—it represents our longing for beauty, uniqueness, and emotional fulfillment in relationships.
What really happens in love?
Neuroscience tells us that when we're in love, the brain releases a flood of dopamine and oxytocin—chemicals that heighten pleasure, trust, and bonding. But they also cloud judgment. That’s why love can often lead us to chase illusions or unattainable dreams—our own version of the “golden deer.”
For young people, this stage is exciting but also vulnerable. We often chase perfect partners, perfect moments, or the thrill of being loved. In doing so, we may ignore red flags, lose sight of reality, or push our partners for things they may not be able to give.
The Golden Lanka: When Values Are Greater Than Possessions
Later in the story, after being abducted by Ravana and taken to the opulent golden city of Lanka, Sita is offered wealth, luxury, and comfort—if only she agrees to compromise her dignity. But she doesn’t.
She chooses self-respect over temptation.
This is where true emotional maturity shines. While the golden deer was an impulsive desire, the rejection of Lanka shows conscious choice rooted in integrity.
Why is this important for the youth?
Because we live in a world that often glorifies material success, status, or social media-worthy relationships. It’s easy to lose ourselves trying to “look perfect” or “feel loved.” But true strength lies in walking away from what glitters when it doesn’t align with our core values.
What Today’s Generation Can Take Away
-
Desire is natural, but not always rational.
Falling in love may come with dreams and wants, but take time to understand whether those desires are grounded in reality or fantasy. -
Emotional maturity is the ability to say no—when it matters most.
Just because something is attractive doesn’t mean it’s right. Like Sita, know when to walk away, even if what you're walking away from is glittering. -
Your dignity is non-negotiable.
Never trade your values, boundaries, or self-respect to please someone else. Relationships that ask you to do so aren’t rooted in love—they're rooted in control. -
Love should elevate, not confuse.
The best relationships bring clarity, not chaos. They may challenge you to grow, but they won’t ask you to shrink your identity.
Final Thoughts: From Myth to Mind
The line "In love, she asked for a golden deer; but in dignity, gave up a golden Lanka" is not about judging desire, but about evolving through it. It reminds us that while our hearts may wander toward fascination, our strength lies in the ability to choose wisely when it matters.
To all young minds navigating love:
Let your emotions be real, but let your boundaries be stronger. Seek connection, not illusion. And always remember—what shines isn't always gold, but what respects you is always worth holding on to.
Because in the end, true love doesn’t ask you to chase illusions or abandon your values. It finds you when you’re standing firm in who you are.
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