Dr. Manju Antil | Counseling Psychologist | Psychotherapist | Educator| Founder- Wellnessnetic Care

Why an Entire Generation Feels Tired All the Time

A Counselling Psychologist Writes from the Therapy Room

There is a sentence I hear almost every week in my counselling practice.

“Nothing is really wrong… but I’m tired.”

Not the kind of tired that goes away with sleep.
Not the tiredness of physical work.
It is a deeper fatigue—mental, emotional, and strangely constant.

What makes this sentence striking is not how dramatic it sounds, but how common it has become. Teenagers say it. College students say it. Young professionals say it. Even children, in quieter ways, show it through irritability, restlessness, and emotional outbursts that seem out of proportion.

As a counselling psychologist, I have come to believe that this is not an individual problem. It is a generational experience.

And to understand it, we must stop asking “What is wrong with them?”
and start asking “What kind of inner world are they growing up in?”

The Restless Mind That Never Learnt to Pause

One of the first things I notice when young clients enter the therapy room is how uncomfortable silence feels to them. A pause in conversation often leads to fidgeting, nervous laughter, or an instinctive reach for the phone.

Silence, which once helped people think, now feels unsettling.

A 21-year-old student once told me, “When there’s silence, my thoughts become too loud.”
So she kept music playing constantly—while studying, travelling, even falling asleep.

What she was really saying was this: “I don’t know how to be alone with my mind.”

This is not a personal failure. It is a learned response.

Many young people today have grown up in environments where stimulation is constant. Screens fill gaps. Notifications interrupt pauses. Waiting has been eliminated. Boredom has been redesigned out of daily life.

But boredom, psychologically speaking, was never the enemy. It was a gateway—into imagination, emotional processing, and self-reflection.

When the mind is never allowed to rest, it forgets how to settle.

Case from Practice: “Aanya, 21 – My Mind Never Switches Off”

Aanya came to therapy because she couldn’t concentrate and felt anxious without knowing why. She was academically capable and socially active, yet internally chaotic.

“I’m always thinking,” she said. “Even when I rest, I don’t feel rested.”

As we explored her daily routine, one thing became clear—her mind was never quiet. Screens filled every pause. There was no space for thoughts to land.

In therapy, slowing down felt uncomfortable at first. Silence made her restless. But gradually, as she learned to stay with stillness, something unexpected happened. Emotions surfaced—not overwhelming ones, but feelings that had been postponed for years.

She wasn’t afraid of silence.
She was afraid of what silence revealed.

Attention Has Not Disappeared—It Has Been Rewired

Teachers often worry that this generation “cannot focus.” But clinically, I see something different. Attention hasn’t vanished. It has adapted.

Young minds today are excellent at rapid switching, visual processing, and handling multiple streams of information. What they struggle with is sustained attention without immediate reward.

Deep focus requires patience. It asks the mind to tolerate confusion and delay gratification. These skills develop through experience. When everything is instant, the brain doesn’t get enough practice waiting.

So when students struggle with long lectures or reading, they don’t feel lazy. They feel ashamed.

And shame quietly erodes motivation.

Emotional Awareness Without Emotional Safety

Ironically, this generation is emotionally articulate. They talk about anxiety, trauma, boundaries, and self-care with ease. This is progress. Mental health awareness matters.

But awareness alone does not equal regulation.

Many young clients can name emotions but feel overwhelmed by them. They panic when feelings linger. They withdraw during conflict. They interpret discomfort as danger.

A young man once said to me, “I don’t mind emotions. I just don’t know what to do when they don’t go away quickly.”

That sentence reveals a gap—not of insight, but of emotional holding.

Emotional regulation develops when feelings are allowed to rise and fall naturally, often with the help of another calm nervous system. When distraction replaces processing, emotions remain unfinished.

Later, they return—louder.

Case from Practice: “Kabir, 24 – High-Functioning but Fragile Inside”

Kabir was successful by external standards. Stable job. Good social life. Confident appearance.

Yet conflict terrified him. Disagreements felt unbearable. He frequently spoke about “triggers” and “boundaries,” but struggled to stay present in difficult conversations.

Therapy revealed that avoidance had been mistaken for self-care. Kabir had learned to protect himself by withdrawing rather than tolerating emotional discomfort.

The work wasn’t about making him tougher.
It was about helping him stay.

Resilience is not emotional numbness.
It is emotional endurance.

Anxiety Has Become the Background Noise of Life

Many young people do not identify as anxious because they are functioning. They meet deadlines. They perform. They keep going.

But their bodies tell a different story—poor sleep, constant tension, irritability, emotional exhaustion.

Anxiety today often hides behind productivity.

In sessions, when I ask what would happen if they slowed down, fear emerges. Slowing feels unsafe. Productivity has become a coping mechanism.

Functioning is mistaken for well-being.

Identity in the Age of Constant Comparison

Identity formation today happens in a hall of mirrors. Young people grow up being watched, evaluated, and compared—often silently.

Social media does not just show others’ lives; it quietly teaches young minds how to measure themselves.

“I feel behind,” a 19-year-old once told me.
“Behind whom?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied.

That is the psychological cost of endless comparison—anxiety without a clear source.

Many young clients struggle with a vague sense of replaceability. They know how to perform, but not how to rest into who they are.

“I don’t know who I am when no one is watching,” one client said softly.

Case from Practice: “Neha, 20 – Surrounded but Lonely”

Neha had friends, group chats, social plans. Yet she felt deeply lonely.

“I don’t feel safe being emotional,” she admitted.

Her loneliness was not social—it was emotional. She had learned to be pleasant and responsive, but not vulnerable.

Therapy focused not on expanding her circle, but deepening her presence. Slowly, she learned that closeness requires emotional risk, not perfection.

What This Generation Is Really Asking For

They are not asking for more stimulation.
Not for constant reassurance.
Not for endless motivation.

They are asking for space.

Space to pause.
Space to feel without rushing.
Space to be imperfect.
Space to integrate who they are becoming.

As psychologists, educators, and adults, our role is not to speed them up—but to slow the world down enough for their inner lives to catch up.

This generation is not broken.
They are overstimulated, under-rested, and emotionally tired.

And with understanding, containment, and patience, they may become one of the most emotionally aware and psychologically deep generations we have ever seen.