Relationship Counselling for Personal Issues: Anxiety, Low Self-Esteem, and Depression

Introduction

Relationships are central to human life, whether with friends, family, or romantic partners. But personal psychological challenges such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression can make it difficult for people—especially students—to communicate effectively, trust others, or feel confident. For students, these challenges may also affect academic performance, peer interactions, and even campus life participation.

Relationship counselling helps students understand themselves, manage emotions, and improve connections with others. It does not only focus on mental health symptoms; it also looks at how these personal issues affect relationships.

This article explores relationship counselling for personal issues with examples that students can instantly relate to, practical techniques, and case studies.

Anxiety and Its Impact on Students

Anxiety is excessive worry or fear that affects daily life. Students may experience:

• Academic Anxiety – fear of exams or presentations.

• Social Anxiety – fear of being judged by peers.

• Relationship Anxiety – fear of conflict, rejection, or breakups.

Examples relatable to students:

1. Class Participation Anxiety:
   Ria, a first-year college student, wants to answer questions in class but fears looking “stupid.” She avoids participating, which makes her feel invisible among peers.
   Counselling approach: Gradual exposure—practicing answering in small groups first, using relaxation techniques before speaking, and reframing negative thoughts like “I will embarrass myself” → “Making mistakes is part of learning.”

2. Friendship Anxiety:
   A student named Sameer avoids joining group discussions because he thinks friends will judge him. He often texts friends instead of talking in person, which leads to misunderstandings.
   Counselling approach: Role-play and social skills training to practice assertive communication in a safe setting.

3. Romantic Relationship Anxiety:
   Priya constantly checks her partner’s messages, fearing abandonment. She argues frequently when she perceives delays in responses.
   Counselling approach: Cognitive restructuring and communication exercises to manage fears without overreacting.

Low Self-Esteem Among Students

Low self-esteem is common in student life, where comparison with peers is frequent. Students with low self-esteem may:

• Feel unworthy of friendship or love.

• Avoid joining clubs or campus activities.

• Hesitate to speak up in class or meetings.

Student-focused examples:

1. Campus Participation:
   Rahul is brilliant academically but never volunteers for student council roles because he believes he “isn’t capable.”
   Counselling approach: Strength-based counselling—helping him identify past achievements and set small, manageable goals for participation.

2. Body Image and Social Acceptance:
   A female student avoids social events because she is unhappy with her appearance. She assumes others will judge her negatively.
   Counselling approach: Self-compassion exercises and group counselling to normalize insecurities and build peer support.

3. Peer Comparison:
   Sana constantly compares herself to high-performing classmates, which reduces confidence and leads to avoidance of study groups.
   Counselling approach: Cognitive reframing—focusing on personal growth instead of competition, celebrating small achievements.

Depression and Student Life

Depression in students may show as persistent sadness, lack of interest in activities, or irritability. Academic pressures, social challenges, and relationship issues can worsen it.

Student-focused examples:

1. Academic Burnout:
   Amit feels hopeless about exams and skips classes because he believes “nothing will help.”
   Counselling approach: Behavioral activation—breaking tasks into small steps, creating achievable daily goals, and rewarding completion.

2. Social Withdrawal:
   Neha stopped attending campus events after a breakup. She avoids friends and feels isolated.
   Counselling approach: Gradual social reintegration and cognitive restructuring—challenging thoughts like “No one cares about me” → “Some friends want to support me.”

3. Conflict with Roommates or Friends:
   A student depressed after family pressure on grades begins arguing over trivial issues with roommates.
   Counselling approach: Mindfulness, emotion regulation, and assertive communication skills to manage conflict.

Counselling Techniques in Student Context

Individual Counselling

• Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge negative thoughts like “I am a failure” → “I am learning and growing.”

• Behavioral Activation: Encourage participation in campus clubs, study groups, or volunteer activities.

• Relaxation & Mindfulness: Short guided meditations before presentations or stressful classes.

• Self-Esteem Exercises: Journaling achievements, peer feedback, positive affirmations.

Example: A student avoids speaking in seminars. The counsellor encourages her to present for 2 minutes in a small group, gradually increasing to larger classes. Over weeks, confidence improves.

Couple Counselling for Young Adults

• Teaching communication skills and conflict resolution helps students manage early-stage relationships.

• Techniques include Emotionally Focused Therapy and Problem-Solving Exercises.

Example:
Two students in a long-distance relationship face trust issues due to miscommunication. Counselling sessions teach them to express feelings openly via video calls and schedule regular check-ins, reducing misunderstandings.

Group Counselling

• Peer support groups are highly effective for anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression.

• Students share experiences, practice social skills, and receive constructive feedback.

Example:
A campus anxiety group practices role-playing introductions. Initially hesitant, students gradually participate in college events with more confidence.

Family Involvement

• Parents and siblings can influence student well-being. Family counselling addresses conflicts, expectations, and communication patterns.

Example:
A student depressed due to parental academic pressure participates in family counselling. Parents learn to set realistic expectations and offer emotional support, reducing the student’s stress.

Challenges for Students

1. Academic Pressure – Deadlines, exams, and competition increase stress and anxiety.

2. Peer Pressure – Comparison and social media affect self-esteem.

3. Relationship Strain – Friendships, romances, and family interactions can trigger emotional distress.

4. Stigma Around Counselling – Students may fear judgment for seeking help.

Counsellors address these with empathy, relatable examples, and practical coping strategies.

Evidence-Based Strategies for Students

1. CBT – Effective in managing anxiety, negative self-talk, and depression (Beck, 1979).

2. Mindfulness – Reduces rumination and improves focus in academic and social situations (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

3. Psychoeducation – Helps students understand mental health and normalizes their experiences.

4. Skill-Building Workshops – Communication, time management, and assertiveness skills improve confidence and relationships.

Comprehensive Student Case Study

Scenario:
Ravi, a first-year engineering student, experiences social anxiety and low self-esteem. He avoids asking questions in class, skips social gatherings, and doubts his abilities compared to peers. He also feels depressed after failing an internal exam.

Counselling Intervention:

• Individual Sessions: CBT to challenge negative thoughts (“I am not smart enough” → “I can improve with practice”).

• Behavioral Activation: Joining study groups and college clubs.

• Mindfulness & Relaxation: Guided breathing before presentations.

• Peer Group Support: Sharing experiences with other students facing similar anxiety.

Outcome:
After six months, Ravi participates in class discussions, joins a coding club, and reports improved mood and confidence. His relationships with classmates and roommates strengthen.

Conclusion

Relationship counselling for personal issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression is critical for students’ mental health and relational development. Through individual, couple, family, and group counselling, students learn to:

• Understand and manage their emotions.

• Improve communication with friends, family, and partners.

• Build confidence and self-worth.

• Navigate academic and social challenges more effectively.

With relatable examples, evidence-based techniques, and supportive interventions, counselling empowers students to face personal challenges, foster healthy relationships, and thrive in both their academic and personal lives.

References

Barlow, D. H. (2002). Anxiety and its disorders: The nature and treatment of anxiety and panic (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression. Guilford Press.

Johnson, S. M. (2004). The practice of emotionally focused couple therapy: Creating connection (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156.

Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. HarperCollins.

Rogers, C. R. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications, and theory. Houghton Mifflin.