Dr. Manju Antil, Ph.D., is a counseling psychologist, psychotherapist, academician, and founder of Wellnessnetic Care. She currently serves as an Assistant Professor at Apeejay Stya University and has previously taught at K.R. Mangalam University. With over seven years of experience, she specializes in suicide ideation, projective assessments, personality psychology, and digital well-being. A former Research Fellow at NCERT, she has published 14+ research papers and 15 book chapters.

Understanding Self: Self-Esteem and Self-Worth| behavioural science I

 

Understanding Self: Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

Understanding oneself is fundamental for personal growth, mental health, academic success, and building meaningful relationships. Our self-concept, self-esteem, and self-worth influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions in every aspect of life.


1. Formation of Self-Concept

Self-concept refers to our perception of “who we are”—our identity, traits, abilities, and social roles. It develops gradually through experiences, interactions, and reflections.

How self-concept forms:

  1. Family Influence: Parenting styles, encouragement, and criticism shape the initial self-view.

    • Example: A child praised for creativity will develop a self-concept as “creative,” while constant criticism may lead to “I’m not good enough.”

  2. Peer Influence: Acceptance, comparison, and social feedback from friends and classmates shape self-concept.

    • Example: Positive feedback from peers boosts confidence; teasing or exclusion may lower self-worth.

  3. Societal and Cultural Factors: Social norms, traditions, and values affect our beliefs about ourselves.

    • Example: In cultures emphasizing academic success, students may measure self-worth by grades.

  4. Personal Experiences: Successes and failures refine self-concept over time.

    • Example: A student failing an exam but overcoming challenges may see themselves as resilient.

Key Idea: Self-concept is dynamic—it evolves with experience, reflection, and conscious effort.


2. Dimensions of Self

Self is multi-dimensional. Understanding each dimension helps students recognize strengths and areas for growth.

Dimension Explanation Example
Physical Self Body image, appearance, health Feeling fit and energetic boosts confidence
Emotional Self Awareness and regulation of emotions Recognizing anger and managing it in arguments
Social Self Interactions, relationships, social roles Feeling accepted by friends enhances social confidence
Cognitive Self Beliefs, knowledge, intellectual abilities Believing in problem-solving skills encourages initiative
Spiritual Self Purpose, values, meaning in life Practicing mindfulness or following personal values enhances inner confidence

Concept: A balanced self requires attention to all dimensions, fostering integrated personal growth.


3. Framework for Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to observe, understand, and reflect on one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is the foundation of self-improvement.

Steps to develop self-awareness:

  1. Reflection: Journaling or thinking about reactions to events.

    • Example: “Why did I feel anxious in the group discussion?”

  2. Seeking Feedback: Constructive input from peers, teachers, or mentors helps identify blind spots.

  3. Mindfulness: Observing thoughts and emotions without judgment reduces impulsive reactions.

  4. Personality & Self-Assessments: Using tools like the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale, MBTI, or StrengthsFinder.

Key Idea: Self-awareness improves emotional intelligence, decision-making, and interpersonal effectiveness.


4. Self-Competencies

Self-competencies are skills for managing oneself effectively.

  • Emotional Regulation: Controlling impulses and stress responses.

  • Self-Motivation: Setting and pursuing personal goals consistently.

  • Decision-Making: Making choices aligned with values and goals.

  • Resilience: Recovering from failures or setbacks.

Example: A student failing an exam but reviewing mistakes and preparing better next time demonstrates resilience, self-motivation, and self-regulation.

Key Concept: Self-competencies empower students to handle challenges and achieve personal growth.


5. Understanding Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to the value we place on ourselves—our perception of worth, competence, and capability.

  • High Self-Esteem: Confidence, positive self-image, emotional stability, resilience.

  • Low Self-Esteem: Self-doubt, insecurity, sensitivity to criticism, avoidance of challenges.

Psychological Perspective: According to Carl Rogers, self-esteem is closely linked to self-concept and unconditional positive regard. Accepting oneself fully supports healthy self-esteem.


6. Characteristics of High and Low Self-Esteem

High Self-Esteem Low Self-Esteem
Confident in abilities Constantly doubts self
Learns from mistakes Blames self excessively
Expresses opinions openly Avoids sharing ideas
Resilient to criticism Overly sensitive to feedback
Maintains healthy relationships Difficulty trusting others

Example: A student with high self-esteem volunteers to lead a debate; a student with low self-esteem avoids participation fearing failure.


7. Importance of Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is essential because it:

  • Enhances motivation: High self-esteem encourages effort and persistence.

  • Promotes mental health: Reduces anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.

  • Supports decision-making: Confident individuals make clear and assertive choices.

  • Strengthens relationships: High self-esteem fosters better communication and social connection.

Scenario: Students with high self-esteem actively engage in discussions, take on leadership roles, and respond constructively to setbacks.


8. Self-Esteem in Academic and Work Settings

High self-esteem improves:

  • Participation in group projects and class discussions

  • Initiative and leadership

  • Handling challenges and workloads efficiently

  • Building positive relationships

Example: A student confidently presenting a project demonstrates self-esteem, communication skills, and self-efficacy.


9. Steps to Enhance Self-Esteem

  1. Self-Acceptance: Recognize and embrace both strengths and weaknesses.

    • Example: “I am good at writing but need to improve public speaking.”

  2. Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative thoughts with empowering ones.

    • Example: “I can handle this challenge” instead of “I’ll fail.”

  3. Set Realistic Goals: Achieving small goals builds confidence.

  4. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge successes, however small.

  5. Learn from Failures: Treat setbacks as opportunities to grow.

  6. Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Positive feedback reinforces self-worth.

  7. Practice Self-Care: Physical, emotional, and social well-being support self-esteem.


🌟 Self-Esteem Toolkit: Quick Reference

Area Explanation Practical Tip
Self-Concept How you perceive yourself Reflect on strengths & weaknesses
Dimensions of Self Physical, Emotional, Social, Cognitive, Spiritual Balance attention to all areas
Self-Awareness Understanding thoughts, emotions, behavior Journaling, mindfulness, feedback
Self-Competencies Skills to manage yourself Emotional regulation, resilience, self-motivation
Self-Esteem Feeling worthy & capable Positive self-talk, goal-setting, self-acceptance
High Self-Esteem Confidence and resilience Take initiative, accept challenges
Low Self-Esteem Self-doubt & insecurity Focus on small wins, seek support
Steps to Enhance Actions to boost self-esteem Celebrate achievements, learn from failures, practice self-care

Daily Practices to Improve Self-Esteem

  • Begin each day with a positive affirmation.

  • Write three things you did well every day.

  • Practice mindfulness or meditation for 5–10 minutes.

  • Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.

  • Focus on what you can control, not what you cannot.


Conclusion

Understanding oneself is the cornerstone of personal growth and emotional health. Developing self-awareness, self-competencies, and high self-esteem helps students and professionals:

  • Handle challenges effectively

  • Build resilience and emotional well-being

  • Achieve academic and career success

  • Maintain healthy relationships

Quote:
“You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha


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Understanding Self: Self-Esteem and Self-Worth| behavioural science I

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