Delusionships and the Psychology of Imagined Intimacy in the Digital Age| The Psychological Fallout of One-Sided Attachments in the Age of Hyperconnectivity ~ Dr Manju Antil (Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist)

"Delusionship" is an emerging term that blends delusion and relationship, typically describing a one-sided or imagined romantic involvement with little or no reciprocation. This phenomenon has gained traction among Generation Z, influenced heavily by curated digital realities, parasocial interactions, and heightened emotional vulnerabilities. This article explores delusionships from a psychological perspective, integrating attachment theory, cognitive distortions, and social media psychology. It offers illustrative case studies and therapeutic insights to examine the emotional toll and behavioral implications of delusionships, while suggesting culturally relevant interventions for the digital age.

Introduction

Delusionships are romantic or emotional attachments that exist primarily in an individual's mind, often without substantial mutual interaction or acknowledgment from the other party. Popularized through TikTok and Gen Z lexicons, the term reflects a cultural shift in how relationships are perceived and pursued in a hyperconnected era (Sharma, 2023). Unlike typical unrequited love, delusionships are marked by over-identification, imagined intimacy, and cognitive distortions that inflate the perceived relationship’s depth.

These delusions may seem benign but often mask underlying emotional vulnerabilities such as loneliness, fear of rejection, or unresolved attachment wounds. As digital connectivity increases, the line between emotional reality and fantasy continues to blur, making delusionships not just a pop-culture buzzword but a psychological phenomenon worthy of academic exploration.

Theoretical Foundations

Attachment Theory

According to Bowlby’s (1969) attachment theory, early attachment patterns shape our relational templates. Anxious attachment styles are particularly susceptible to delusionships, as such individuals often seek closeness, validation, and romantic attention—even in the absence of reciprocation (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007).

Parasocial Relationships

First coined by Horton and Wohl (1956), parasocial relationships describe one-sided emotional bonds formed with media figures. In the age of influencers, even non-celebrity interactions on Instagram or WhatsApp can become parasocial, especially when users misinterpret digital cues as genuine intimacy (Giles, 2002).

Fantasy-Prone Personality and Projection

People high in fantasy proneness and neuroticism are more likely to engage in imagined romantic scripts. They project their desires onto another person, who often remains unaware or emotionally unavailable. Such projections can mirror psychodynamic concepts of transference, where unmet childhood needs are projected onto adult targets (Freud, 1912).

Triggers of Delusionships

Digital Proximity: Constant visibility via stories, likes, and online presence creates an illusion of intimacy.
Loneliness and Social Isolation: Studies have shown that loneliness increases susceptibility to romantic idealization (Cacioppo & Patrick, 2008).
Cultural Idealization of Love: Media portrayals often romanticize persistence and fantasy over communication and consent.
Attachment Insecurity: Those with insecure attachment may seek love in unavailable places, leading to fantasy-based attachments.

Case Studies

Case Study 1: The Imagined Relationship with a Co-Worker

Subject: Riya, 26, Marketing Executive, New Delhi

Narrative: Riya developed a strong emotional attachment to a colleague, Arjun. They occasionally exchanged pleasantries, but Riya interpreted his friendliness as flirtation. Over time, she started daydreaming about their future, feeling hurt when Arjun didn’t ask her out or engage further. She even avoided dating others, convinced he was just waiting for the right moment.

Analysis: Riya exhibited signs of cognitive distortion (selective abstraction and personalization). Her anxious attachment style likely fueled her need for emotional validation through imagined closeness. When Arjun announced his engagement to someone else, Riya experienced symptoms of grief similar to a breakup, despite never having dated him.

Therapeutic Insight: CBT helped Riya identify maladaptive thought patterns and distinguish reality from fantasy. Mindfulness practices aided in emotional regulation.

Case Study 2: The Influencer Obsession

Subject: Armaan, 21, College Student, Mumbai

Narrative: Armaan followed a popular fitness influencer, feeling a deep emotional connection to her posts, stories, and captions. He believed her "motivational quotes" were directed at him. He imagined conversations and even began turning down real-life dating opportunities. When she got married and posted wedding pictures, Armaan experienced intense sadness and insomnia.

Analysis: This delusionship mirrors a parasocial relationship escalated by emotional projection. Armaan’s underlying social anxiety made virtual affection feel safer than real-world intimacy.

Therapeutic Insight: Psychodynamic therapy explored unresolved maternal attachment issues. Gradual exposure to offline social settings helped rebuild real-world relational competence.

Delusionship vs. Healthy Crush

A healthy crush involves admiration and desire but maintains awareness of boundaries and reality. In contrast, delusionships involve:

Emotional investment without reciprocation
Rewriting interactions to fit a romantic narrative
Avoidance of real relationships

Clinically, delusionships can border on limerence—an obsessive state of infatuation marked by intrusive thoughts and fantasies (Tennov, 1979).

Consequences of Delusionships

Emotional Burnout: Constant overthinking and fantasizing can lead to fatigue, sadness, and emotional depletion.
Self-Esteem Issues: Repeated emotional rejection (real or perceived) reinforces inadequacy.
Social Withdrawal: Individuals may avoid real-world interactions or dating opportunities.
Mood Disturbances: Anxiety, depression, and insomnia may result from unmet emotional expectations (APA, 2022).

Role of Social Media

Social platforms create a psychological echo chamber that rewards obsession with constant dopamine hits—likes, comments, seen receipts. Algorithms reinforce attention-seeking and illusion of closeness (Andreassen et al., 2012).

Apps like Instagram foster “micro-intimacy,” where stories, reactions, and mutual follows simulate emotional proximity. Gen Z’s preference for text-based flirting amplifies ambiguity, making it easier to misinterpret friendliness as romantic interest.

Therapeutic Interventions

1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Identify and restructure distorted thoughts
Reality testing techniques (journaling, cognitive maps)

2. Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

Explore unresolved needs and projection origins
Understand internalized love scripts

3. Mindfulness-Based Interventions

Grounding practices to stay present
Observe thoughts without attachment

4. Digital Detox and Boundaries

Reduce exposure to triggering content
Practice intentional online behavior

5. Group Therapy and Psychoeducation

Normalize experiences through group sharing
Educate about healthy relational frameworks

Conclusion and Future Directions

Delusionships represent a growing psychological pattern in the digitally native population, especially among Gen Z. Though they may appear harmless, these one-sided fantasies can significantly impair emotional functioning and delay healthy relational growth. As the lines between digital and physical spaces continue to blur, psychologists, educators, and content creators must collaboratively promote emotional literacy and healthy relational boundaries.

Future research should investigate cultural differences in delusionship formation, neurobiological correlates of fantasy-prone personalities, and long-term impact on relational development. Additionally, AI and virtual relationships may usher in newer forms of delusionships that require novel ethical and clinical frameworks.

References

American Psychological Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM–5–TR).
Andreassen, C. S., Torsheim, T., Brunborg, G. S., & Pallesen, S. (2012). Development of a Facebook Addiction Scale. Psychological Reports, 110(2), 501–517.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. W. W. Norton & Company.
Freud, S. (1912). The dynamics of transference. Collected Papers, Vol. II.
Giles, D. C. (2002). Parasocial Interaction: A Review of the Literature and a Model for Future Research. Media Psychology, 4(3), 279–305.
Horton, D., & Wohl, R. R. (1956). Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction. Psychiatry, 19(3), 215–229.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. Guilford Press.
Sharma, P. (2023). The Rise of Delusionships: Why Gen Z Is Falling in Love with Fantasies. Youth & Media Journal, 5(2), 45–53.
Tennov, D. (1979). Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love. Scarborough House.