Why Do We Hesitate to Talk About Mental Health?

The psychology of stigma, silence and help-seeking | First Aid: Mental Health (SBSM101)

“I’m fine.”

Two words.

Sometimes they are completely true.

Sometimes they mean, “I don't know how to explain what I'm feeling.”

Sometimes they mean, “I'm afraid you will judge me.”

Sometimes they mean, “I don't want anyone to know.”

And sometimes they mean:

“Please don't ask me again.”

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to say, “I have a headache,” than “I haven't been feeling mentally okay lately”?

Why?

Why can we casually tell someone that we have fever, back pain or stomach problems, but hesitate before saying that we are anxious, overwhelmed, depressed, lonely or emotionally exhausted?

This is the fourth and final key question of Unit I – Understand: What Is Mental Health? The SBSM101 syllabus places this question within the study of myths, stigma, mental-health literacy and help-seeking.

And perhaps the most important thing to understand is this:

People do not remain silent about mental health simply because they do not need help. Sometimes they remain silent because asking for help feels psychologically, socially or practically risky.

Let's understand why.

Imagine you want to tell someone, “I'm not okay.”

You finally decide to speak.

You walk up to a friend and say:

“I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately.”

And your friend replies:

“Everyone is stressed.”

Or:

“Just think positive.”

Or:

“You have everything. What are you worried about?”

Or perhaps the most dangerous response:

“Don't tell anyone. People will think you're mentally ill.”

What happens next?

You probably don't feel more comfortable talking.

You may decide to keep it to yourself.

You may even begin to question your own experience:

“Maybe I'm overreacting.”

“Maybe I'm weak.”

“Maybe I should be able to handle this.”

This is one of the ways stigma becomes psychological.

It does not merely exist as an opinion held by other people.

Eventually, people can begin to apply those negative beliefs to themselves.

What exactly is stigma?

In simple terms, stigma is a negative social attitude, stereotype, prejudice or discriminatory response associated with a particular characteristic or condition.

In mental health, stigma can involve beliefs such as:

“People with mental illness are weak.”

“They are dangerous.”

“They cannot be successful.”

“They should be able to control themselves.”

“Therapy is only for people who cannot handle life.”

“If I see a psychologist, people will think something is seriously wrong with me.”

These beliefs are not harmless.

The World Health Organization states that stigma and discrimination around mental health exist across countries and can reduce people's willingness to seek help and continue treatment, while also affecting relationships and participation in society. (World Health Organization)

So when we ask:

“Why don't people seek help?”

we should not immediately blame the individual.

Sometimes the environment has taught them that asking for help is unsafe.

The surprising part: people may know they need help and still avoid it

This is where the psychology becomes particularly interesting.

You might think:

If someone knows they are struggling, surely they will seek help.

Not necessarily.

A 2025 APA/Harris Poll found that 41% of U.S. adults said they were often uncomfortable asking others for help, even though many people recognised the importance of mental-health care. (American Psychological Association)

Another 2025 APA survey found that 84% of U.S. adults believed the term “mental illness” still carries stigma, and 35% said they would view someone differently if they learned that person had a mental-health condition. (American Psychological Association)

Think about that contradiction.

People may say:

“Mental health is important.”

And yet privately think:

“I don't want anyone to know that I need help.”

That gap between attitude and behaviour is exactly where help-seeking psychology becomes important.

Why are we afraid of being judged?

Human beings are social creatures.

Our sense of identity is partly shaped by how we believe other people see us.

So imagine thinking:

What if my classmates find out?

What will my parents say?

Will my teacher treat me differently?

Will my friends think I'm weak?

Will people think I'm unstable?

Will this affect my career?

Will people talk about me?

These aren't necessarily irrational questions.

In some environments, people really can face discrimination or misunderstanding after disclosing a mental-health difficulty.

WHO notes that stigma and discrimination can affect employment, relationships and access to care. (World Health Organization)

So sometimes silence is not simply a lack of awareness.

It can be a protective response to anticipated social consequences.

There are actually several kinds of stigma

Stigma is not one single thing.

Imagine a student believes:

“People with depression are weak.”

That is a negative stereotype.

Now imagine the same student begins experiencing depression and thinks:

“If I have depression, I must be weak.”

That is closer to self-stigma—when negative social beliefs become part of one's own self-evaluation.

There can also be anticipated stigma:

“If people discover that I'm seeing a psychologist, they will judge me.”

And experienced stigma:

“People actually treated me differently after they found out.”

These experiences can reinforce one another.

A person anticipates rejection → stays silent → receives less support → distress continues → begins believing something is wrong with them → becomes even less willing to seek help.

The silence can become a cycle.

And sometimes the biggest barrier is not stigma at all

This is important.

We should not explain the mental-health treatment gap only by saying:

“People are ignorant.”

That explanation is too simplistic.

People may face financial barriers.

There may be too few trained professionals.

Services may be difficult to access.

Appointments may not fit around work or college.

Transportation may be a problem.

A person may not know where to go.

They may worry about confidentiality.

They may have had a previous negative experience with healthcare.

Or they may believe that they should solve the problem themselves.

The APA identifies practical barriers such as cost, availability and scheduling, as well as psychological barriers such as feeling that one should manage the problem alone or being afraid to admit that help is needed. (American Psychological Association)

So when someone doesn't seek help, don't immediately ask:

“Why didn't they take responsibility for their mental health?”

Ask:

“What barriers were standing between this person and support?”

That is a much more compassionate—and scientifically useful—question.

The Indian picture makes this conversation even more important

India's National Mental Health Survey provides a powerful illustration.

The National Mental Health Survey of India 2015–16, conducted by NIMHANS with support from the Government of India, estimated that treatment gaps for different mental disorders ranged from approximately 70% to 92%. For common mental disorders, the reported treatment gap was around 85%. (Ministry of Health and Family Welfare)

A treatment gap this large cannot be explained by one factor.

Research in India has identified several contributors, including stigma, limited mental-health literacy, shortages of professionals, affordability and availability of services, and difficulties accessing appropriate care. (PubMed Central (PMC))

This gives us an important lesson:

Mental-health help-seeking is both a psychological issue and a systems issue.

A person needs the courage to ask for help.

But there must also be somewhere safe and accessible to go.

What happens to students?

Let's bring this closer to everyday student life.

Imagine a student who has been feeling overwhelmed for several months.

She thinks about speaking to a counsellor.

Then her thoughts begin:

“What if someone sees me entering the counselling centre?”

“What if my friends ask questions?”

“Maybe I should just handle it myself.”

“Others are dealing with worse problems.”

“I'll wait until exams are over.”

Then exams arrive.

She postpones help again.

This is not unusual.

A 2026 study of 409 medical students in central India found that about one-quarter had not sought professional mental-health care despite feeling that they needed it. Common barriers included wanting to solve problems independently, believing the problem would improve by itself, concerns about family reactions, fear of being seen as weak, financial costs and lack of support. (PubMed Central (PMC))

Notice something important.

The biggest barrier in that study was not simply:

“I don't believe in mental health.”

A major barrier was:

“I should solve this myself.”

That belief deserves attention.

Why does “I can handle it myself” sound so healthy?

Because sometimes it is.

Independence is valuable.

Resilience is valuable.

Problem-solving is valuable.

But there is a difference between:

“I want to try coping on my own.”

and

“I am suffering, but asking for help would mean I am weak.”

The first can reflect autonomy.

The second can become a barrier.

A person can be strong and still need support.

A person can be independent and still see a psychologist.

A person can be resilient and still have a difficult period.

Seeking help does not cancel out resilience.

Sometimes it is an expression of resilience.

What about family?

In India, mental-health experiences do not occur in isolation.

Family can be one of the greatest sources of emotional support.

But family expectations can sometimes also become a barrier.

A person may think:

“My parents will worry.”

“They won't understand.”

“They will say I have everything, so why am I struggling?”

“They will blame me.”

“They will tell relatives.”

“This could affect my marriage prospects.”

IGNOU learning material on mental-health promotion and stigma highlights how social attitudes, family responses and beliefs about mental illness can influence help-seeking in India. It also notes that stigma can affect both individuals and their families. (Egyankosh)

This is why mental-health literacy cannot be limited to the individual.

Families need mental-health literacy too.

A real-life story: when speaking publicly changed the conversation

One of the most visible examples in India is Deepika Padukone's public discussion of her experience with depression.

She has spoken about experiencing depression during a period of significant professional success and about initially struggling to understand what was happening to her. She later sought professional help and became publicly involved in mental-health awareness through the Live Love Laugh Foundation. (World Bank)

What made her story particularly significant was not simply that she spoke about depression.

It was that she spoke about it publicly.

When a well-known person talks openly about seeking psychological help, it can challenge the stereotype that mental-health difficulties happen only to people who are unsuccessful, weak or incapable.

WHO has similarly emphasised the role of responsible media in reducing stigma. Its 2025 guidance notes that accurate stories about mental-health conditions and recovery can encourage help-seeking, while sensational or stereotypical portrayals can reinforce stigma. (World Health Organization)

One person's disclosure cannot remove stigma.

But it can make another person think:

“Maybe I am not the only one.”

And sometimes that is the beginning of help-seeking.

But should we tell everyone everything?

No.

Mental-health openness does not mean telling everyone every private detail.

You have a right to privacy.

You can decide:

whom to tell,

what to share,

when to share it,

and what kind of support you want.

Mental-health first aid should respect consent, dignity, boundaries and confidentiality, while recognising that confidentiality has limits in situations involving serious safety concerns.

This is also consistent with professional ethical training in India. RCI's clinical psychology curriculum explicitly addresses ethical principles such as respect for rights and dignity, confidentiality, informed consent and working within professional boundaries. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

So the goal is not:

“Tell everyone.”

The goal is:

“Don't let shame decide that you must tell no one.”

What does DSM-5-TR have to do with stigma?

At first, this may seem unrelated.

But diagnostic language can influence how people understand themselves and others.

The DSM-5-TR provides professional diagnostic criteria for mental disorders. It is intended to support trained clinical assessment—not to label people casually. The American Psychiatric Association emphasises the importance of clinical judgment in using diagnostic information. (World Health Organization)

Why does this matter for stigma?

Because there is a huge difference between saying:

“She is mentally ill.”

and:

“She is experiencing symptoms that may warrant professional assessment.”

The first reduces a person to a label.

The second recognises a person who may need support.

A diagnosis, when professionally established, can help guide appropriate care.

But a person is never simply a diagnosis.

ICD-11 and the language of mental health

The ICD-11 provides WHO's international classification system for health conditions. Its Clinical Descriptions and Diagnostic Requirements are designed to support accurate and reliable identification and diagnosis in clinical settings. (World Health Organization)

This matters because diagnostic systems are designed to improve communication and access to appropriate care.

They are not designed to give society permission to stereotype people.

In fact, WHO has highlighted how classification and language can themselves influence stigma. Some conditions have historically been classified in ways that contributed to misunderstanding and discrimination. (World Health Organization)

So mental-health literacy includes learning to use psychological language carefully and respectfully.

What does RCI teach us about the responsibility of professionals?

The RCI framework places strong emphasis on ethical practice, confidentiality, informed consent, professional boundaries and competence. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

This matters because one reason people hesitate to seek help is fear:

“Will my information remain private?”

A responsible mental-health professional should explain relevant confidentiality practices and their limits.

For students, the lesson is equally important:

Do not promise a friend absolute secrecy if there is a serious safety concern.

Supporting someone does not mean carrying a dangerous situation alone.

If a situation moves beyond ordinary peer support, appropriate professional or emergency help should be involved.

That is not betrayal.

That is responsible care.

What can we do to reduce stigma?

You don't have to launch a national campaign.

It begins with everyday language.

Instead of:

“He's crazy.”

Say:

“He's going through a difficult period.”

Instead of:

“She is attention-seeking.”

Ask:

“What might she be trying to communicate?”

Instead of:

“Therapy is for weak people.”

Ask:

“What could someone gain from having professional support?”

Instead of:

“You don't look depressed.”

Say:

“How have you actually been feeling?”

Words shape social environments.

WHO's recent work on stigma reduction highlights social contact and respectful conversation as evidence-informed ways of challenging stereotypes and discrimination. (World Health Organization)

Sometimes a safe conversation is itself a small mental-health intervention.

Try this: The 2-Minute Stigma Challenge

Think of one mental-health belief you have heard repeatedly.

Perhaps:

“People with mental illness are weak.”

Or:

“If you are successful, you cannot be depressed.”

Or:

“Therapy is only for serious problems.”

Now ask yourself:

Where did I learn this belief?

Was it from:

A family member?

A movie?

Social media?

A joke?

A news story?

Personal experience?

School?

Religion or culture?

Then ask:

“Do I know this to be true—or have I simply heard it many times?”

That distinction is the beginning of critical thinking.

What if I am the person who needs help?

This is perhaps the most important part.

If you have been thinking about seeking help but keep postponing it, ask yourself:

Am I afraid of the help—or afraid of what seeking help might mean about me?

Those are two different questions.

You may not actually be afraid of counselling.

You may be afraid of being judged.

You may not be afraid of talking.

You may be afraid of being seen as vulnerable.

You may not be afraid of treatment.

You may be afraid of losing control.

Understanding the actual barrier can make the next step easier.

And you don't have to start with a dramatic disclosure.

You could begin with:

“I've been having a difficult time lately, and I think I could use some support.”

That's enough.

And what if your friend tells you?

Don't immediately turn into a problem-solver.

You don't need to say:

“Here's what you should do.”

Start with:

“Thank you for telling me.”

Then:

“Do you want me to listen, or would you like help thinking about what to do next?”

That question gives the person some control.

Listen without judgment.

Respect their privacy.

Don't gossip about what they told you.

And if you believe professional support is needed, encourage it rather than trying to become their therapist.

That fits directly with the SBSM101 course journey:

UNDERSTAND → NOTICE → RESPOND → SUPPORT → REFER → CARE.

The biggest myth we need to challenge

Perhaps the most damaging belief is:

“If I need help, something is wrong with me.”

Let's turn that around.

If you had a broken bone, would you prove your strength by refusing medical help?

If you had a persistent physical symptom, would you call yourself weak for seeing a doctor?

Then why should psychological support be treated differently?

The mind is not separate from health.

WHO defines mental health as an integral part of overall well-being and recognises that mental-health conditions can be effectively treated, even though major gaps in access remain. (World Health Organization)

Seeking help is not an admission of failure.

It is a decision to take your well-being seriously.

So, why do we hesitate to talk about mental health?

Because talking about mental health can make us feel exposed.

We may fear judgement.

We may fear rejection.

We may fear being labelled.

We may worry about confidentiality.

We may believe we should manage everything ourselves.

We may not know where to go.

We may worry about cost.

Our family or culture may discourage disclosure.

We may have had a bad previous experience.

Or perhaps we have simply never learned the language of emotional distress.

And this last point is incredibly important.

Sometimes people are not refusing help. They simply don't know how to ask for it.

That is why mental-health literacy matters.

Before you finish, ask yourself three questions

1. What mental-health belief did I grow up hearing?

2. Would I feel comfortable telling someone if I were psychologically struggling? Why or why not?

3. If a friend told me, “I'm not okay,” would I make them feel safer—or more ashamed?

Don't rush your answers.

Your responses may tell you something about your own mental-health literacy.

A better mental-health culture begins with ordinary conversations

We don't need every conversation to become a therapy session.

We simply need conversations where people can say:

“I'm struggling.”

without immediately hearing:

“Be strong.”

Where someone can say:

“I need help.”

without hearing:

“What will people think?”

Where a student can visit a counsellor without feeling that they have committed a social offence.

Where families can ask:

“How are you really doing?”

and actually listen to the answer.

And where seeking professional help is treated as a health behaviour rather than a character flaw.

That is the kind of culture that makes early help possible.

One idea to carry with you

Stigma tells people to hide. Mental-health literacy gives them language. Empathy gives them safety. Professional support gives them a pathway forward.

The purpose of First Aid: Mental Health is not to turn you into a diagnostician or therapist.

It is to help you become someone who can understand mental health, notice distress, respond with empathy, support safely, respect boundaries, refer appropriately and care for yourself.

So the next time someone says:

“I'm not okay.”

Don't rush to fix them.

Don't judge them.

Don't diagnose them.

Don't tell them to hide it.

Perhaps begin with the simplest sentence of all:

“I'm glad you told me.”

Sometimes that is where the silence finally begins to break.

References & Further Reading

• World Health Organization. Mental health. WHO. (World Health Organization)

• World Health Organization. (2025). Mental disorders. WHO. (World Health Organization)

• World Health Organization. (2024). Clinical Descriptions and Diagnostic Requirements for ICD-11 Mental, Behavioural and Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (World Health Organization)

• World Health Organization Europe. (2025). How the media can combat mental health stigma and discrimination. (World Health Organization)

• American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR).

• American Psychological Association. (2025). By the Numbers: Beliefs about mental health have evolved, but stigma remains. (American Psychological Association)

• American Psychological Association. (2025). By the Numbers: People want mental health treatment and self-care, but some feel uncomfortable pursuing them. (American Psychological Association)

• American Psychological Association. (2025). Public attitudes toward mental health in the U.S. (American Psychological Association)

• Rehabilitation Council of India. Guidelines and Syllabus – B.Sc. Clinical Psychology, including ethical practice, confidentiality, informed consent and professional boundaries. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

• Indira Gandhi National Open University (IGNOU). Learning material on mental-health promotion, stigma and help-seeking. (Egyankosh)

• National Mental Health Survey of India 2015–16. Government of India/NIMHANS. (Ministry of Health and Family Welfare)

• Khan, M. F., et al. (2026). “This shall pass too”—What stops medical students in central India from seeking mental health care? Indian Journal of Psychiatry. (PubMed Central (PMC))

Course connection: This article addresses the fourth key question of Unit I – Understand: “Why do we hesitate to talk about mental health?” and connects directly with the syllabus content on mental-health literacy, myths, stigma and help-seeking.

Where Does Everyday Stress Become Distress?

Understanding the psychology of stress, coping and when it is time to seek support

First Aid: Mental Health | SBSM101

Have you ever said, “I’m just stressed”?

You probably have.

You may have said it before an examination, after a difficult conversation, while thinking about your career, when deadlines were piling up, or simply when everything seemed to be happening at once.

But here is a more interesting question:

What if sometimes “I’m just stressed” is not the end of the conversation—but the beginning of one?

Stress is such a normal part of modern life that we often stop noticing it. We joke about being stressed, compare our workloads with friends, scroll through social media while feeling overwhelmed, sleep less, work more and tell ourselves that we will feel better “after this week.”

Then another week arrives.

And another.

At some point, the question changes from “Why am I stressed?” to “Why am I not recovering?”

That is where psychology becomes important.

The third key question of Unit I of First Aid: Mental Health is precisely this: “Where does everyday stress become distress?” The syllabus places this question within the broader understanding of psychological well-being, the mental-health continuum, psychological distress, everyday emotional difficulties and risk and protective factors.

The answer is not a simple number of days or a particular level of stress.

It is about what the experience is doing to the person.

Stress is not the enemy

Let's start by correcting a common misunderstanding.

Stress is not automatically bad.

Imagine you have to give a presentation in front of 100 people.

Your heart beats faster.

Your palms become sweaty.

Your attention sharpens.

You rehearse your points again.

You feel nervous—but that nervousness also motivates you to prepare.

That is a stress response.

The American Psychological Association describes stress as a physiological or psychological response to internal or external stressors. It can affect how we feel and behave and can produce physical responses such as increased heart rate, sweating, muscle tension and changes in breathing. (American Psychological Association)

The WHO similarly describes stress as a natural human response to difficult situations. Some stress can help us respond to challenges; the difficulty arises when stress becomes excessive, prolonged or difficult to manage. (World Health Organization)

So being mentally healthy does not mean living a completely stress-free life.

In fact, that would be an impossible goal.

A healthier question is:

Can I experience stress, respond to it, recover from it and continue functioning?

Your body may know before you admit it

Stress does not live only in your thoughts.

You may notice that your shoulders remain tense.

You may clench your jaw.

You may have difficulty falling asleep because your mind keeps replaying tomorrow's problems.

You may become unusually irritable.

You may lose your appetite—or eat more than usual.

You may find it difficult to concentrate on something you normally handle easily.

These reactions make psychological sense. Stress involves interactions between psychological and physiological processes.

APA notes that stress can affect nearly every system of the body and may be expressed through physical and behavioural changes. (American Psychological Association)

This is why your course later asks students to recognise emotional, behavioural, cognitive and physical indicators of distress, rather than looking only for obvious emotional signs.

But there is an important caution here.

A headache does not automatically mean “stress.”

Poor sleep does not automatically mean “anxiety.”

Irritability does not automatically mean “depression.”

The same symptom can have many possible explanations.

Mental-health literacy means learning to notice patterns without jumping to conclusions.

So what is the difference between stress and distress?

Think about two students during examination season.

One student feels nervous for a few days. She studies, talks to her friends, takes breaks, sleeps reasonably well and feels better once the examination is over.

Another student has been overwhelmed for weeks. He cannot concentrate, has stopped meeting friends, sleeps poorly, misses classes and feels unable to manage even ordinary tasks.

Both students may say:

“I'm stressed.”

But their experiences are not necessarily the same.

The second situation raises more questions.

Not:

“What diagnosis does he have?”

but:

“How severe is the distress?”

“How long has it been happening?”

“Is he recovering?”

“How is his functioning being affected?”

“Are his usual coping strategies working?”

“Does he need additional support?”

This shift—from labelling to understanding—is one of the most important habits in psychological thinking.

Distress is not the same thing as mental illness

This distinction deserves special attention.

You can experience psychological distress without having a mental disorder.

You can have a difficult emotional reaction to an examination, breakup, financial problem, family conflict, relocation or failure without having a psychiatric diagnosis.

At the same time, persistent or severe distress can sometimes be part of a mental disorder.

So there is no useful equation that says:

Stress = Mental illness.

It doesn't.

WHO describes a mental disorder as involving a clinically significant disturbance in cognition, emotional regulation or behaviour, usually associated with distress or impairment in important areas of functioning. (World Health Organization)

That word—clinically significant—is important.

It reminds us that human beings are allowed to have difficult emotions.

You can be sad without being depressed.

You can be worried without having an anxiety disorder.

You can be stressed without having a mental disorder.

And you can have a mental disorder even when you occasionally feel happy.

Human psychology does not fit neatly into boxes.

What does the DSM-5-TR add to this understanding?

If you have studied psychology, you have probably encountered the DSM-5-TR, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision, published by the American Psychiatric Association.

The DSM-5-TR provides diagnostic classifications and criteria used by appropriately trained professionals. It is designed to support diagnosis, treatment and research—not to encourage people to diagnose themselves or their friends from a checklist. (American Psychiatric Association)

This is particularly relevant when we talk about everyday stress.

Suppose a student says:

“I have been anxious because my examinations are coming.”

That statement tells us something.

But it does not tell us that the student has an anxiety disorder.

Clinical assessment requires consideration of the broader pattern—symptoms, severity, duration, context, distress, impairment and the relevant diagnostic criteria.

That is why the Mental Health First-Aid response should sound like:

“Tell me what has been happening.”

rather than:

“I think you have an anxiety disorder.”

One response opens a conversation.

The other prematurely closes it with a label.

And what does ICD-11 tell us?

The International Classification of Diseases, 11th Revision (ICD-11) is WHO's global classification system for diseases and health-related conditions.

For mental, behavioural and neurodevelopmental disorders, WHO provides the Clinical Descriptions and Diagnostic Requirements (CDDR) to support accurate identification and diagnosis in clinical settings. WHO specifically describes the CDDR as a clinical manual for mental-health professionals and other health professionals, while also noting its educational value for students and trainees. (World Health Organization)

Again, the message is clear:

Recognising distress is not the same as diagnosing a disorder.

That distinction is fundamental to this course.

You are learning to notice, respond and support safely—not to become an amateur diagnostician. The SBSM101 syllabus explicitly defines its professional boundary as peer support rather than diagnosis or treatment.

Why does the same situation affect two people differently?

Now we come to one of the most interesting parts of stress psychology.

Imagine two students receive the same message:

“Your examination has been moved to tomorrow.”

One thinks:

“This is inconvenient, but I'll revise what I can.”

The other thinks:

“I'm going to fail. Everyone will think I'm stupid. My entire future is ruined.”

The external event is similar.

The internal experience is very different.

The transactional model of stress and coping, associated with Lazarus and Folkman, helps explain this by focusing on how people appraise a situation and evaluate their resources for managing it. APA's current Dictionary of Psychology describes the model in terms of primary appraisal, secondary appraisal and coping efforts. (APA Dictionary)

In simple language:

What happened?

What does it mean to me?

Do I think I can handle it?

What can I do about it?

These questions help explain why stress is not simply a property of the situation itself.

The same deadline can be a manageable challenge for one person and an overwhelming threat for another.

IGNOU's perspective: stress is something we can understand and manage

This way of thinking is also reflected in psychology learning resources from Indira Gandhi National Open University (IGNOU).

IGNOU's BPCS-186: Managing Stress includes units on the introduction to stress, models of stress, factors contributing to stress proneness, effects of stress, coping and stress-management techniques. (Egyankosh)

That structure is useful because it reminds us that stress is not simply:

“Something bad happened.”

Psychology asks us to look at the larger process:

stressor → appraisal → response → coping → outcome

And that gives us a more useful question.

Instead of asking:

“Why can't I handle stress like everyone else?”

ask:

“What is happening in my environment, how am I interpreting it, what resources do I have, and what coping strategies am I using?”

That is a much more psychologically informed question.

When functioning begins to change, pay attention

One of the clearest clues that stress deserves closer attention is change in functioning.

Maybe you used to attend every class but have started missing several.

Maybe you normally enjoy meeting your friends but now avoid everyone.

Maybe you used to sleep well but now lie awake for hours.

Maybe you could usually concentrate for an hour but now cannot focus for ten minutes.

Maybe simple responsibilities are beginning to feel impossible.

The change itself is information.

APA notes that when stress or anxiety becomes difficult to manage or starts affecting day-to-day functioning or mood, talking with a mental-health professional can be appropriate. (American Psychological Association)

This does not mean that every change indicates a disorder.

It means the change is worth noticing.

And noticing is where mental-health first aid begins.

A real-life story: when “stress” was not simply stress

Consider the publicly documented experience of Deepika Padukone.

In 2014, during a period when she was professionally successful, she described waking with a disturbing feeling, feeling low, empty and directionless, and finding it increasingly difficult to get up in the morning. She initially struggled to understand what was happening. Later, after seeing a counsellor and then a psychiatrist, she described receiving support for anxiety and depression through counselling and medication. (World Bank Blogs)

In another account, she described initially thinking the experience might simply be related to stress, but the difficulties persisted and worsened. (PatientsEngage)

Why is this story important?

Not because we should compare our experiences with hers.

And certainly not because every stressed person has depression.

It is important because it illustrates something psychologists repeatedly emphasise:

The meaning of a symptom becomes clearer when we look at its pattern, persistence and impact on functioning.

“I'm stressed” may describe a temporary reaction.

But if the experience persists, worsens, changes your functioning and becomes difficult to manage, it deserves a closer look.

And sometimes that closer look needs a professional.

There is another trap: becoming comfortable with being overwhelmed

Have you ever been so stressed for so long that stress started to feel normal?

You wake up tired.

You rush through the day.

You keep checking your phone.

You postpone tasks because you feel overwhelmed.

Then you feel guilty for postponing them.

You stay awake worrying.

The next morning you do it all again.

Eventually you tell yourself:

“This is just how college life is.”

But something being common does not make it healthy.

A person can continue functioning while carrying a level of psychological strain that deserves attention.

This is why we should not wait for a dramatic “breakdown” before taking mental health seriously.

Sometimes the warning sign is much quieter:

You are functioning, but you are no longer recovering.

What does healthy coping actually mean?

Healthy coping does not mean pretending that you are okay.

It means responding to stress in ways that help you manage the situation, regulate emotions, preserve functioning and recover.

Sometimes coping means solving a practical problem.

If you have five deadlines, you may need a realistic schedule.

Sometimes it means accepting what cannot immediately be changed.

If you are grieving, there is no productivity hack that makes grief disappear.

Sometimes coping means talking to someone.

Sometimes it means rest.

Sometimes it means setting a boundary.

Sometimes it means changing an unhealthy coping behaviour.

And sometimes it means seeking professional help.

APA's guidance on stress emphasises that stressful experiences are a normal part of life, while chronic or unmanageable stress can affect physical and mental health. It recommends evidence-based approaches such as physical activity, adequate sleep, social connection and other healthy coping strategies. (American Psychological Association)

The important thing is not to ask:

“What is the perfect coping strategy?”

Ask:

“What actually helps me recover?”

A two-minute experiment

Let's make this personal.

Think about the last seven days.

Don't diagnose yourself. Just observe.

Complete these sentences:

The biggest source of stress in my life right now is…

When I am stressed, my body usually…

My thoughts usually become…

My behaviour usually changes by…

The coping strategy I use most often is…

Now ask yourself:

“Does this strategy actually help me recover—or does it only help me escape the feeling temporarily?”

That last question can be surprisingly revealing.

Scrolling for three hours may distract you.

Avoiding an assignment may reduce anxiety for twenty minutes.

Staying busy all the time may keep difficult emotions away.

But distraction is not always recovery.

Coping should ultimately help you move through the experience, not simply postpone it.

When should you encourage professional help?

You do not need to wait until you can prove that someone has a mental disorder.

You also do not need to diagnose them.

If someone is experiencing persistent or escalating distress, significant changes in functioning, or difficulties that are no longer responding to their usual coping strategies, professional support may be appropriate.

APA similarly advises seeking professional help when stress or anxiety is affecting day-to-day functioning or mood or is not responding adequately to coping strategies. (American Psychological Association)

And when there is immediate concern about someone's safety, urgent professional or emergency support takes priority over ordinary peer support.

This is where referral becomes part of mental-health first aid.

Your role may simply be to say:

“I think this is becoming difficult to manage on your own. Would you be willing to speak with a counsellor or mental-health professional? I can help you find the right place to start.”

That is support.

It is not diagnosis.

What does RCI add to this conversation?

The Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI) regulates recognised professional education and training in relevant rehabilitation fields, including professional pathways in clinical psychology. Its current clinical psychology framework includes structured professional training with substantial hands-on and real-world application. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

This matters because psychological assessment, formulation and diagnosis are professional activities requiring appropriate education, training and competence.

For a student taking First Aid: Mental Health, the lesson is simple:

You can care without diagnosing.

You can notice.

You can listen.

You can support.

You can encourage help-seeking.

You can help someone connect with appropriate services.

But you should know where your role ends.

That is not a limitation.

That is ethical support.

So, where exactly does everyday stress become distress?

There is no single line on the calendar.

There is no universal “stress score” that tells us when someone has crossed it.

Instead, look at the relationship between intensity, persistence, coping and functioning.

A stressful situation may be temporary and manageable.

Distress may become more persistent, overwhelming or difficult to regulate.

A mental disorder requires a clinical assessment against appropriate diagnostic criteria and cannot be established simply because someone feels stressed.

This distinction is supported across the frameworks we use in psychology and mental health: WHO's emphasis on clinically significant disturbance and impairment, ICD-11's clinical diagnostic framework, DSM-5-TR's diagnostic classification, APA's distinction between ordinary stress/anxiety and clinically significant difficulties, and the professional boundaries reflected in RCI's clinical psychology framework. (World Health Organization)

And that is exactly the kind of thinking SBSM101 is trying to develop.

Not:

“What disorder does this person have?”

But:

“What am I noticing?”

“How is this affecting the person?”

“What support might be appropriate?”

“Is this beyond my role?”

“Should I encourage professional help?”

The question to remember

The next time you hear yourself say:

“I'm just stressed.”

Pause.

Ask yourself:

What is stressing me?

How is my body responding?

How are my thoughts and behaviour changing?

Am I recovering?

Is my everyday functioning being affected?

Are my coping strategies helping?

Do I need support?

You don't have to wait until you completely fall apart to take your mental health seriously.

And you don't have to diagnose yourself to deserve help.

Sometimes mental-health first aid begins with nothing more complicated than noticing that something has changed.

That is the move from UNDERSTAND → NOTICE.

And in this course, noticing is not about becoming suspicious of every emotion.

It is about becoming psychologically observant.

One idea to carry with you

Stress is a normal part of being human. Distress is a signal that deserves attention. Diagnosis is a professional responsibility. Support can begin much earlier.

Your Mental Health First-Aid Toolkit is designed around exactly this progression:

KNOW → NOTICE → RESPOND → SUPPORT → REFER → CARE.

Because the goal is not to create a life without stress.

The goal is to learn what your mind and body are telling you—and know what to do when they need support.

References & Further Reading

• American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). (American Psychiatric Association)

• American Psychological Association. Stress. (American Psychological Association)

• American Psychological Association. (2022). What's the difference between stress and anxiety? (American Psychological Association)

• American Psychological Association. (2024). 11 healthy ways to handle life's stressors. (American Psychological Association)

• American Psychological Association. APA Dictionary of Psychology: Stress; Transactional Model of Stress and Coping. (APA Dictionary)

• World Health Organization. (2025). Mental disorders. (World Health Organization)

• World Health Organization. (2024). Clinical Descriptions and Diagnostic Requirements for ICD-11 Mental, Behavioural and Neurodevelopmental Disorders. (World Health Organization)

• Rehabilitation Council of India. Clinical Psychology – Revised Curriculum and Professional Framework. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

• Rehabilitation Council of India. Regular Mode – Clinical Psychology Programmes. (Rehabilitation Council of India)

• Indira Gandhi National Open University. BPCS-186: Managing Stress. IGNOU eGyanKosh. (Egyankosh)

• Padukone, D. (2016). Live, Love, Laugh: A message from Deepika Padukone. World Bank. (World Bank Blogs)

• CBS News. (2018). Michael Phelps opens up about depression and his experience of seeking help. (CBS News)

Course alignment: Unit I – Understand: What Is Mental Health? The syllabus identifies “Where does everyday stress become distress?” as a central question and connects it with psychological distress, the mental-health continuum, everyday emotional difficulties, risk/protective factors and mental-health literacy.

What Does Being Mentally Healthy Really Mean?

You don’t have to be happy all the time to be mentally healthy | First Aid: Mental Health (SBSM101)

Have you ever thought about what it actually means to be mentally healthy?

Maybe your first answer is: “Being happy.”

But then think about it for a moment.

If you feel sad after losing someone, are you mentally unhealthy?

If you are nervous before an important examination, does that mean something is wrong with you?

If you have a bad day, feel irritated with everyone, or need some time alone, does that mean you are not mentally healthy?

Probably not.

And this is where mental-health literacy begins: learning to distinguish between normal human experiences, psychological well-being, psychological distress and mental-health conditions.

The first unit of First Aid: Mental Health begins with exactly this question: What does being mentally healthy really mean? The course places mental health within a broader continuum and asks students to understand well-being, distress, mental illness, risk and protective factors rather than reducing mental health to the absence of illness.

So, let’s rethink the idea of mental health.

Is a mentally healthy person happy all the time?

Imagine two students.

Student A has an important presentation tomorrow. She feels nervous, keeps thinking about whether she will perform well and needs some reassurance from a friend.

Student B has been feeling empty and disconnected for several weeks. He has stopped enjoying things he previously liked, is struggling to concentrate, has withdrawn from friends and is finding it increasingly difficult to manage his everyday responsibilities.

Both are experiencing difficult emotions.

But are these experiences necessarily the same?

No.

Feeling nervous before an important event can be a normal emotional response. Emotional discomfort is part of being human. The more important questions are:

How intense is the experience? How long does it last? How much does it interfere with everyday life? Is the person able to cope? And is the person able to function and connect with others?

This is why mental health cannot be measured simply by asking, “Are you happy?”

The World Health Organization describes mental health as a state of mental well-being that helps a person cope with life's stresses, realise their abilities, learn and work well, and contribute to their community. WHO also emphasises that mental health exists on a complex continuum, rather than being a simple healthy-versus-illness divide. (World Health Organization)

That one idea changes the way we look at ourselves and other people.

Mental health is not the absence of problems

Here is an interesting question for you:

Can a mentally healthy person experience anxiety?

Yes.

Can a mentally healthy person feel sad?

Yes.

Can a mentally healthy person become stressed?

Absolutely.

Mental health does not mean that life never becomes difficult. It means that a person has psychological resources, relationships, skills and circumstances that can help them respond to life's demands and maintain functioning and well-being.

Think about physical health.

A physically healthy person can still catch a cold.

Similarly, having good mental health does not mean experiencing only positive emotions. It means having the capacity to experience, understand and respond to a range of emotions while continuing to navigate life.

Sometimes mental health is about recovery, not constant stability.

You may have a difficult week, feel overwhelmed, ask someone for help, rest, reorganise your priorities and gradually feel better.

That does not automatically mean you have become “mentally unhealthy.”

In fact, knowing when you need support can itself be a sign of psychological awareness.

So what does mental well-being actually look like?

Mental well-being is not something that can be recognised from someone's face.

It is reflected in how a person relates to their thoughts, emotions, relationships, responsibilities and environment.

A person with relatively good mental well-being may be able to experience pleasure and sadness, handle ordinary setbacks, make decisions, maintain meaningful relationships, learn from experiences and seek help when necessary.

Notice the word “relatively.”

Mental health is not a permanent achievement.

It can change.

Your mental state on the day you receive good news may be very different from your mental state during examination week, after a breakup, during financial difficulties, while caring for a family member, or after a major life transition.

WHO similarly notes that mental health is shaped by interacting individual, family, community and structural factors. Protective factors can include social and emotional skills, positive relationships, access to education, decent work, safe communities and strong social connections. (World Health Organization)

So asking, “What is wrong with this person?” is often a much poorer question than asking:

“What is happening in this person's life, and what might be affecting their well-being?”

A real-life story: when everything looked fine from the outside

Consider the publicly documented experience of Deepika Padukone.

At the time she experienced depression, she was a highly successful actor. From the outside, there were many reasons to assume that everything was going well.

But she later described feeling low, empty and directionless, and said that even getting up in the morning had become difficult. She explained that it was only after seeing a counsellor that she understood she was experiencing anxiety and depression, and that professional treatment helped her. (World Bank Blogs)

There is another particularly important part of her story for a Mental Health First-Aid course.

Padukone has described how her mother noticed that something was different and encouraged her to seek help. Her mother recognised changes that Padukone herself was initially struggling to understand. (The Indian Express)

Why is this story important?

Not because a celebrity's experience represents everyone's experience. It doesn't.

It is important because it challenges a very common assumption:

External success does not automatically tell us what is happening internally.

A person can be academically successful, professionally successful, socially active or apparently cheerful and still experience significant psychological difficulties.

And the reverse is also true: someone having a difficult period is not automatically mentally ill.

This is why observation and mental-health literacy matter.

Your emotions are information, not your identity

Think about the sentence:

“I am anxious.”

Now compare it with:

“I am experiencing anxiety right now.”

They sound similar, but psychologically they can create a very different perspective.

The second statement separates the person from the experience.

You are not your sadness.

You are not your anxiety.

You are not your difficult week.

You are a person experiencing something.

This distinction matters because emotions can change, and our responses to them can also change.

Research supports the importance of how people regulate emotions. A meta-analysis covering 48 studies, 51 independent samples and more than 21,000 participants found meaningful associations between emotion-regulation strategies and indicators of mental health. Cognitive reappraisal—changing how we interpret an emotional situation—was generally associated with more positive mental-health indicators, whereas expressive suppression was associated with poorer outcomes across several measures. (PubMed)

This does not mean that you should simply “think positive.”

It means something more useful:

How we respond to emotions matters.

But if mental health is about well-being, how do we know when something is becoming a problem?

This is where the mental-health continuum becomes important.

Your syllabus deliberately introduces the idea of a continuum rather than a simple “healthy/unhealthy” box. It asks students to understand mental health, psychological well-being, psychological distress and mental illness as related but distinct concepts.

You might imagine the continuum roughly like this:

Well-being → Everyday stress → Distress → Significant difficulty/crisis

People can move along this continuum.

A student might normally function well, experience examination stress for a few weeks, recover after the examinations and return to their usual routine.

Another person might experience increasingly persistent distress that begins affecting sleep, concentration, relationships, attendance and everyday functioning.

The second situation deserves more attention and possibly professional support.

This is why we should avoid casually diagnosing ourselves or our friends based on one behaviour.

Someone sleeping late for two nights does not automatically mean depression.

Someone crying does not automatically mean a mental disorder.

Someone being quiet does not automatically mean they are suicidal.

And someone smiling does not automatically mean they are fine.

One sign is rarely the whole story.

That distinction—between what we observe and what we assume—becomes especially important in Unit II of this course.

The world itself tells us that emotional experiences are complex

Large-scale research also shows why we should be careful about reducing mental health to “happy versus unhappy.”

Gallup's State of the World's Emotional Health 2025 analysed more than 145,000 interviews across 144 countries and areas. In 2024, 39% of adults worldwide reported experiencing a lot of worry during much of the previous day, while 37% reported a lot of stress. At the same time, 73% reported experiencing laughter and enjoyment. (Gallup.com)

Think about what that tells us.

People can experience positive and negative emotions within the same life—and even within the same period of time.

Someone can laugh with friends in the evening and worry about their future at night.

Someone can enjoy their college life and still feel uncertain about their career.

Someone can love their job and still feel exhausted.

Someone can be grateful for their life and still need psychological support.

Human beings are emotionally complicated.

And mental health is complicated too.

Then what does being mentally healthy mean?

Perhaps the simplest way to understand it is this:

Mental health is not about feeling good all the time. It is about having the capacity to experience life, respond to its challenges, function, connect with others, and seek support when needed.

That includes emotional awareness.

It includes relationships.

It includes coping.

It includes meaningful activity.

It includes rest and recovery.

It includes psychological flexibility—the ability to adapt when circumstances change.

And importantly, it includes knowing when you cannot manage something alone.

The WHO's current definition similarly emphasises coping, functioning, realising one's abilities and contributing to one's community, while recognising that mental health is influenced by a wide range of individual and social factors. (World Health Organization)

So perhaps we should stop asking:

“Am I happy enough to be mentally healthy?”

and start asking:

“How am I functioning?”

“How am I coping?”

“What am I feeling?”

“What is affecting me?”

“What helps me recover?”

“Who can I talk to?”

Those are much better mental-health questions.

Try this: Your 2-Minute Mental Health Check

Take two minutes before moving on.

Don't diagnose yourself. Just observe.

Complete these sentences honestly:

Right now, I am feeling __________.

Something that has been taking mental energy from me is __________.

Something that is helping me cope is __________.

A person I can talk to when things become difficult is __________.

One thing I could do this week to support my well-being is __________.

Now ask yourself one final question:

If my friend were experiencing exactly what I am experiencing, what would I say to them?

Would you judge them?

Or would you show them some understanding?

Sometimes the way we speak to ourselves is much harsher than the way we speak to people we care about.

One more question: Does asking for help mean I am mentally unhealthy?

No.

Asking for help is not a failure of independence.

It can be a responsible response to difficulty.

The purpose of First Aid: Mental Health is not to turn students into therapists or diagnosticians. The course specifically emphasises awareness, supportive communication, appropriate peer support, boundaries and knowing when professional help is needed.

That distinction is essential.

You can listen to a friend.

You can show empathy.

You can say, “I'm here with you.”

You can encourage someone to seek professional support.

But you do not have to become their therapist.

Supporting someone and treating someone are two different responsibilities.

That is why the course journey moves from UNDERSTAND → NOTICE → RESPOND → SUPPORT → REFER → CARE.

The mental-health skill worth carrying with you

The next time someone tells you, “I'm not okay,” don't immediately ask:

“What's your diagnosis?”

Ask:

“What has been happening?”

The next time you feel overwhelmed, don't immediately conclude:

“Something is wrong with me.”

Ask:

“What am I dealing with right now, and what support might help?”

And the next time you see someone smiling, performing well or saying “I'm fine,” remember:

A person's mental health cannot always be read from their appearance.

Being mentally healthy does not mean having a perfect mind, a problem-free life or a permanent state of happiness.

It means developing the awareness, skills, relationships and support systems that help you navigate being human.

And sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is admit:

“I need some help with this.”

That is not weakness.

That is mental-health literacy in action.

Remember

Mental health ≠ constant happiness.

Mental health ≠ absence of all problems.

Mental health ≠ a diagnosis.

Mental health = a dynamic part of our overall well-being that can change, be protected, strengthened and supported.

And this is exactly where your Mental Health First-Aid Toolkit begins: KNOW → NOTICE → RESPOND → SUPPORT → REFER → CARE.

References & Further Reading

1. World Health Organization. (2025). Mental health: Strengthening our response. (World Health Organization)

2. World Health Organization. Mental health: Overview and key concepts. (World Health Organization)

3. Gallup. (2025). State of the World’s Emotional Health 2025. (Gallup.com)

4. Hu, T., Zhang, D., Wang, J., Mistry, R., Ran, G., & Wang, X. (2014). Relation between emotion regulation and mental health: A meta-analysis review. Psychological Reports, 114(2), 341–362. (PubMed)

5. Padukone, D. (2016). Live, Love, Laugh: A message from Deepika Padukone. World Bank. (World Bank Blogs)

6. The Indian Express. (2018). Deepika Padukone on sharing depression battle. (The Indian Express)

7. The Indian Express. (2021). Deepika Padukone on going public with depression diagnosis. (The Indian Express)

Course alignment: Unit I – Understand: What Is Mental Health? The syllabus identifies “What does being mentally healthy really mean?” as the second key question and places it within mental health, psychological well-being, the mental-health continuum, psychological distress, risk/protective factors and mental-health literacy.

Is Everyone Who Looks Happy Actually Okay?

The Psychology Behind the Smile

First Aid: Mental Health (SBSM101) | Unit I – UNDERSTAND

Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “She is so happy”?

Maybe she is the person who laughs the loudest in your class. She is always surrounded by friends, participates in every event, posts beautiful photographs and seems completely confident.

Or perhaps it is that boy who always makes everyone laugh. He is doing well academically, has a large social circle and seems to have his future figured out.

You look at them and think:

“They are fine. They have nothing to worry about.”

But let me ask you something.

How do you know?

And before you answer that question, think about yourself.

Have you ever smiled when you were nervous?

Have you ever laughed even though you were worried?

Have you ever told someone, “I'm fine,” simply because you didn't feel like explaining what was actually happening?

If you have, then you already know something important about human psychology:

What we show is not always the complete picture of what we experience.

But there is another side to this idea. A person who looks happy is not necessarily hiding sadness, anxiety or depression.

So, what is really happening behind the smile?

A world that smiles—and worries

Here is something fascinating.

Gallup's State of the World's Emotional Health 2025, based on more than 145,000 interviews across 144 countries and areas, examined people's emotional experiences during 2024.

73% of adults worldwide said they had smiled or laughed a lot the previous day.

The same percentage—73%—said they had experienced enjoyment. 72% felt well-rested, and 88% said they had been treated with respect. (Gallup.com)

Sounds encouraging, doesn't it?

Now look at the other side of the same data.

39% reported a lot of worry.

37% reported a lot of stress.

26% reported sadness.

22% reported anger. (Gallup.com)

Now stop for a moment.

How can someone laugh and worry on the same day?

Very easily.

You can laugh with your friends while worrying about your examination.

You can enjoy your birthday while worrying about your future.

You can love your family while feeling emotionally exhausted.

You can be excited about getting a job and simultaneously be terrified that you won't be good enough.

You can have a wonderful day and still have a difficult evening.

Human beings are emotionally complex.

And that is precisely why a smile cannot be used as a psychological test.

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: Your Last 24 Hours

Before reading further, take two minutes.

Think about yesterday.

Write down three emotions you experienced.

Perhaps you felt:

happy + worried + tired

or

excited + irritated + grateful

or

calm + lonely + hopeful.

Now ask yourself:

Did experiencing one emotion make the others disappear?

Probably not.

That is your first psychological insight:

Different emotional experiences can coexist.

Mental health is therefore much more complex than simply asking whether someone is “happy” or “unhappy.”

Does smiling mean that someone is mentally healthy?

No.

And this distinction is extremely important.

Gallup's figures describe reported emotional experiences. They do not diagnose mental disorders.

Feeling worried does not automatically mean that you have an anxiety disorder.

Feeling sad does not automatically mean that you have depression.

Laughing does not automatically mean that you are psychologically healthy.

The World Health Organization estimates that in 2021, nearly 1.1 billion people—almost one in seven people worldwide—were living with a mental disorder. Anxiety and depressive disorders were among the most common. WHO defines a mental disorder as a clinically significant disturbance in cognition, emotional regulation or behaviour, generally associated with significant distress or impairment in important areas of functioning. (World Health Organization)

So psychology asks us to make an important distinction:

An emotion is not the same thing as a mental disorder.

You can feel sad and be mentally healthy.

You can feel happy and still experience psychological difficulties.

And sometimes, you can experience both in the same day.

The person who seemed to have everything

Think about Deepika Padukone.

At the height of her career, what did the world see?

Success.

Fame.

Money.

Recognition.

A thriving career.

From the outside, it would have been very easy to think:

“She has everything. What could possibly be wrong?”

Yet in 2015, Padukone publicly spoke about experiencing depression. She described that period as a struggle to get up and face the day and spoke about how her mother noticed that something was wrong. (Indian Express)

Imagine meeting her at a public event before knowing her story.

Would her appearance have allowed you to diagnose depression?

No.

Would her professional success have ruled it out?

Again, no.

That gives us an important psychological lesson:

External success is not a complete measure of internal well-being.

We sometimes make an unconscious assumption:

“If someone has a good life, they must feel good.”

But psychological experience is influenced by much more than achievements and circumstances.

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: The “Perfect Life” Illusion

Think of someone you follow on social media whose life appears perfect.

Don't name them.

Now answer three questions:

What do I actually know about their life?

What have I simply assumed?

What parts of their life have I never seen?

Now ask yourself:

Am I comparing my complete life with someone else's selected moments?

If yes, you have just identified an important psychological trap.

A photograph gives you a moment.

It does not give you the whole person.

Now think about Michael Phelps

Imagine standing in an Olympic stadium.

Thousands of people are cheering.

The cameras are everywhere.

You have just won another gold medal.

Michael Phelps has won 28 Olympic medals, including 23 gold medals.

What would you assume about his mental state if all you had was that photograph?

Probably:

“He must be incredibly happy.”

Yet Phelps has publicly discussed depression, anxiety and periods of severe psychological distress, as well as the importance of seeking help.

Think about the apparent contradiction:

23 Olympic gold medals.

And psychological distress.

These two realities can exist in the same human being.

His story does not mean successful people are secretly unhappy.

It means something much more useful:

Achievement does not make a person psychologically invulnerable.

The person everyone thinks is “strong”

Now think about someone whose entire public image is associated with strength.

Dwayne Johnson has spoken publicly about experiencing depression during difficult periods of his life.

That challenges a very common belief:

“Strong people don't struggle.”

But what does psychological strength actually mean?

Is it never crying?

Never feeling overwhelmed?

Never asking for help?

Never admitting uncertainty?

Or could strength sometimes mean:

“Something isn't right, and I need support.”

Think about that.

Psychological resilience does not require a person to be emotionally invulnerable.

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: What Does “Strong” Mean?

Complete this sentence without overthinking:

“A mentally strong person is someone who ______.”

Now look at your answer.

Did you write:

never cries?

never gives up?

handles everything alone?

doesn't need help?

Or did you write:

adapts?

asks for help?

accepts emotions?

keeps going despite difficulties?

There is no single correct answer.

But this exercise helps you notice your own beliefs about vulnerability and strength.

And that is self-awareness.

A smile is information—but it is not the whole story

Imagine your friend is laughing with everyone.

What do you actually know?

You know:

Your friend is laughing.

What might you interpret?

“She is happy.”

Perhaps.

But you don't know that for certain.

Now imagine another friend is sitting alone.

What do you know?

He is sitting alone.

What might you interpret?

“He is lonely.”

Perhaps.

But perhaps he simply wants some quiet time.

This distinction is fundamental in psychology:

Observation is not interpretation.

And interpretation is not diagnosis.

The SBSM101 syllabus specifically takes students toward this distinction in Unit II, where they learn to identify emotional, behavioural, cognitive and physical indicators and distinguish observation from interpretation.

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: Observation or Assumption?

Read these statements.

“She has stopped attending classes.”

What do you actually know?

Now compare it with:

“She has stopped attending classes because she is depressed.”

What changed?

The first statement is an observation.

The second is an interpretation that may or may not be correct.

Now try these:

“He is very quiet today.”

“He is socially anxious.”

“She is laughing with her friends.”

“She is completely happy.”

“He failed his examination.”

“He has low self-esteem.”

Can you see the difference?

This tiny exercise develops an important psychological habit:

Describe what you know before deciding what it means.

What about Instagram?

Now let's bring this directly into student life.

Open your Instagram feed in your mind.

What do you see?

Travelling.

Graduations.

Birthdays.

Relationships.

Parties.

Gym transformations.

New jobs.

Beautiful photographs.

Smiling faces.

And perhaps, without realising it, you think:

“Everyone is happier than me.”

But you know your complete life:

your worries,

your unfinished work,

your insecurities,

your family concerns,

your failures,

your private thoughts.

You see only what another person has chosen to show.

So you may be comparing:

your complete life

with

someone else's selected moments.

That is not a fair comparison.

And the research on young people is fascinating

The World Happiness Report 2026 examined social media and well-being using data from the 2022 PISA survey involving more than 270,000 15- to 16-year-olds across 47 countries. The researchers found that the relationship between social-media use and life satisfaction is complex. Among girls, life satisfaction was highest among light users and tended to decline as social-media use increased; the pattern was different for boys and varied considerably across regions. (World Happiness Report)

But here's the part I particularly want you to notice.

The report does not give us a simple message such as:

“Social media causes unhappiness.”

Instead, it shows that how social media is used and the broader social context matter. The report also found that a sense of school belonging was much more strongly associated with life satisfaction than social-media use in the international data. (World Happiness Report)

That is an important finding for university students.

Perhaps the question is not simply:

“How much time do you spend online?”

Perhaps we should also ask:

“Do you feel that you belong somewhere?”

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: Belonging Check

Take a moment and rate yourself from 0 to 10:

“I feel that I genuinely belong in my college/university community.”

Don't think about popularity.

Think about belonging.

Now ask:

Who could I call if I was having a genuinely difficult day?

If a name immediately came to mind, that's useful information.

If you struggled to think of someone, that's also useful information.

This is not a diagnosis.

It is simply a moment of self-awareness.

What should you actually notice in another person?

Suppose your friend is usually energetic, social and involved in everything.

Suddenly, over several weeks, they stop attending classes, withdraw from friends, sleep poorly and repeatedly say that they feel exhausted.

You ask:

“Are you okay?”

They smile:

“Yes, I'm fine.”

What should you do?

Should you say:

“No, you're not. I know you're depressed.”

No.

That would be an assumption.

Should you completely ignore what you have observed?

Also no.

A better response might be:

“Okay. I respect that. I've noticed you've seemed a little different recently. If things are difficult and you ever want to talk, I'm here.”

Notice what you have done.

You haven't diagnosed.

You haven't interrogated.

You haven't dismissed them.

You have simply communicated:

I noticed. I care. I'm available.

That is much closer to mental-health first aid.

Why emotional expression matters

Research gives us another interesting piece of the puzzle.

A meta-analysis of 48 studies involving 21,150 participants examined emotion-regulation strategies and mental health. It found different relationships between strategies such as cognitive reappraisal and expressive suppression and outcomes including life satisfaction, positive affect, depression, anxiety and negative affect. (PubMed)

This does not mean:

“If you hide your feelings, you will become mentally ill.”

Psychology is more nuanced than that.

But it does suggest that how we manage and regulate emotions matters.

There is a difference between:

“I'm angry, so I'll pause before I respond.”

and:

“I'm not allowed to feel angry. I have to pretend everything is fine.”

The first can be emotional regulation.

The second may involve emotional suppression.

The goal of mental health is not to express every emotion to everyone.

It is to develop flexible and healthy ways of recognising, managing and communicating emotions.

⏱️ 2-Minute Psychology Activity: What Do You Do With Difficult Emotions?

Think of the last time you were upset.

What did you usually do?

Did you:

• talk to someone?

• go for a walk?

• sleep?

• exercise?

• write?

• pray or meditate?

• distract yourself?

• scroll endlessly?

• isolate yourself?

• pretend nothing happened?

Now ask:

Did my strategy actually help me process the emotion, or did it simply help me escape it temporarily?

Don't judge your answer.

Just notice it.

That is the beginning of emotional self-awareness.

Perhaps “happy” is the wrong question

The World Happiness Report gives us an interesting way of thinking about happiness.

It doesn't simply ask:

“Did you smile yesterday?”

It primarily looks at how people evaluate their lives as a whole.

You might have a terrible Monday and still think:

“Overall, I'm satisfied with my life.”

You might have a wonderful birthday and still think:

“I'm unhappy with where my life is going.”

One moment does not necessarily represent the whole person.

And perhaps that is what we should remember when we look at other people too.

A photograph is a moment.

A smile is a moment.

A difficult day is a moment.

A successful examination is a moment.

None of these, alone, tells us the whole psychological story.

Now turn the question toward yourself

Perhaps the most important part of this topic isn't about celebrities.

It's about you.

Think about the last time someone asked:

“How are you?”

What did you say?

“Fine.”

Did you mean:

“I'm genuinely doing well”?

Or:

“I'm tired, but I don't want to discuss it”?

Or:

“I don't know what I'm feeling”?

Or:

“I don't want to burden anyone”?

Or perhaps you really were fine.

All of these are possible.

And that's why mental-health awareness should not make us suspicious of everyone.

It should make us more thoughtful about what we know and what we don't know.

⏱️ One Last 2-Minute Activity: The “I'm Fine” Question

Write down this sentence:

“When I say ‘I'm fine,’ I usually mean…”

Complete it honestly.

Then write:

“When I am genuinely struggling, the person I would most likely talk to is…”

Finally:

“One thing that would make it easier for me to ask for help is…”

You don't have to share your answers.

This is for you.

Because mental-health literacy begins not only with understanding other people, but with understanding yourself.

So, is everyone who looks happy actually okay?

We don't know.

And that is the honest psychological answer.

Some people who look happy really are doing well.

Some may be struggling.

Some may be experiencing both happiness and distress.

Some may simply prefer not to show certain parts of their emotional life.

Our responsibility is not to become experts at uncovering everyone's hidden problems.

Our responsibility is to become better at understanding people without immediately judging them.

That means noticing changes.

It means asking rather than assuming.

It means listening rather than labelling.

It means understanding that mental health is more complicated than a facial expression.

And it means knowing when a friend may need more support than we can provide.

A question to carry with you

The next time you see someone smiling, don't immediately think:

“They must be perfectly fine.”

But don't think:

“They must be hiding something.”

Instead, think:

“I don't know their whole story.”

That small change in thinking is powerful.

Because mental-health literacy is not about learning to diagnose everyone around you.

It is about becoming someone who can:

notice without judging,

ask without intruding,

listen without labelling,

and support without pretending to be a therapist.

That is where mental-health first aid begins.

And perhaps the question we should carry forward is not:

“Does this person look happy?”

but:

“How are they really doing—and do they have someone they can talk to?”

🌱 Your Takeaway

Before moving to the next topic, remember just three things:

A smile is an expression, not a diagnosis.

An emotion is not the same thing as a mental disorder.

What you observe is not necessarily the whole psychological reality of a person.

And perhaps the most important one:

Don't diagnose the smile. Understand the person.

Where do we go from here?

If happiness is not the same as mental health, then what exactly is mental health?

Can a mentally healthy person feel stressed?

Can someone experiencing a mental disorder still experience happiness?

What is psychological well-being?

And when does ordinary stress become psychological distress?

These questions take us further into Unit I – UNDERSTAND of First Aid: Mental Health (SBSM101).

References & Further Reading

1. Gallup. (2025). State of the World's Emotional Health 2025. Gallup World Poll, 145,000+ interviews across 144 countries and areas. (Gallup.com)

2. World Health Organization. (2025). Mental disorders. WHO. The source reports that approximately 1.1 billion people, nearly 1 in 7 globally, were living with a mental disorder in 2021. (World Health Organization)

3. Helliwell, J. F., Layard, R., Sachs, J. D., De Neve, J.-E., Aknin, L. B., & Wang, S. (Eds.). (2026). World Happiness Report 2026. Wellbeing Research Centre, University of Oxford. (World Happiness Report)

4. Helliwell et al. (2026). International evidence on happiness and social media. In World Happiness Report 2026. (World Happiness Report)

5. Hu, T., Zhang, D., Wang, J., Mistry, R., Ran, G., & Wang, X. (2014). Relation between emotion regulation and mental health: A meta-analysis review. Psychological Reports, 114(2), 341–362. The meta-analysis included 48 studies, 51 independent samples and 21,150 participants. (PubMed)

6. The Indian Express. (2015). Deepika Padukone talks about depression, first time on television. This documents Padukone's public disclosure about her experience of depression. (Indian Express)

7. SBSM101 Course Syllabus. Unit I – UNDERSTAND: What Is Mental Health? and Unit II – NOTICE: Can You Spot the Signs?