Dr Manju Antil (Counselling Psychologist and Psychotherapist)

Dyadic counselling is a sophisticated therapeutic process that centers on the relationship between two individuals—such as couples, parent-child pairs, siblings, or close friends. Unlike individual counselling, dyadic work requires the therapist to simultaneously attend to the needs, emotional states, and perspectives of both clients, as well as the relational system they form together. The process is deeply rooted in systemic, relational, and communication theories, and demands a high level of adaptability, neutrality, and skill.

1. Establishing the Therapeutic Alliance with the Dyad

Theoretical Concept and Purpose

The therapeutic alliance in dyadic counselling is a triadic relationship: the therapist must build trust and rapport with each individual and with the dyad as a unit. Drawing from systemic theory, attachment theory, and dialogical approaches, this phase emphasizes creating a safe, neutral, and collaborative environment. The alliance is the foundation for all further work, as it enables vulnerability, honesty, and emotional risk-taking.

Advanced Skills & Techniques

• Balanced Engagement
  Theory: Systemic and dialogical approaches stress the importance of ensuring both clients are equally engaged and validated.
  Example: If one partner is more expressive, the therapist might say, “I appreciate your openness, and I’d like to hear your thoughts as well, Priya. What’s your perspective?”
• Dual Empathy
  Theory: Humanistic and emotionally focused models emphasize the need to recognize and validate both clients’ emotional experiences.
  Example: “You, Amit, feel unappreciated at home, while you, Priya, feel overwhelmed by daily responsibilities. Both of your feelings are valid and important for us to explore.”
• Nonpartisan Stance
  Theory: Systemic neutrality prevents the therapist from taking sides, which is essential for maintaining trust.
  Example: “It seems you’re both experiencing pain, but in different ways. Let’s understand what’s happening for each of you.”
• Establishing Ground Rules and Confidentiality
  Theory: Ethical and group process theories highlight the need for clear boundaries and confidentiality to foster safety.
  Example: “Let’s agree to speak one at a time and avoid interruptions, so everyone feels heard.”
• Cultural and Relational Sensitivity
  Theory: Multicultural and contextual models stress awareness of how cultural, gender, and family roles shape expectations.
  Example: “In your family, respect for elders is highly valued. How does this influence your communication as a couple?”

2. Assessment and Problem Identification

Theoretical Concept and Purpose

Assessment in dyadic counselling is a systemic, multi-layered process. The therapist explores each individual’s concerns, the history and patterns of their relationship, and the broader context. This phase draws from family systems theory, attachment theory, and structural therapy, emphasizing the interconnectedness of individual and relational issues.

Advanced Skills & Techniques

• Circular Questioning
  Theory: Systemic therapy uses circular questions to reveal patterns and feedback loops in the relationship.
  Example: “When Priya feels anxious and withdraws, how do you usually respond, Amit? And how does Priya react to that?”
• Genogram and Timeline Construction
  Theory: Family systems and intergenerational models use genograms and timelines to map relational history and identify transgenerational patterns.
  Example: Creating a genogram to trace patterns of conflict or support across generations.
• Reflective Summarization
  Theory: Narrative and dialogical approaches use summarizing to ensure shared understanding and validation.
  Example: “So, when Amit becomes quiet, Priya feels alone and reaches out more, which sometimes feels overwhelming for Amit. Is that accurate?”
• Identifying Strengths and Resources
  Theory: Strengths-based and solution-focused approaches highlight existing resources and past successes.
  Example: “Can you recall a time you resolved a disagreement well? What did you do differently then?”
• Cultural and Contextual Assessment
  Theory: Multicultural and ecological frameworks focus on how external stressors and cultural norms influence the dyad.
  Example: “How does your extended family’s involvement affect your ability to resolve conflicts together?”

3. Goal Setting and Contracting

Theoretical Concept and Purpose

Goal setting in dyadic counselling is a collaborative, negotiated process. Drawing from collaborative therapy and solution-focused models, the therapist helps both clients articulate individual and shared goals, fostering ownership and motivation. The process is transparent, flexible, and designed to build consensus and commitment.

Advanced Skills & Techniques

• Collaborative Goal Setting
  Theory: Collaborative and narrative therapy ensure goals reflect both clients’ aspirations.
  Example: “What would a successful outcome look like for each of you? Where do your goals overlap, and where do they differ?”
• Negotiation and Mediation
  Theory: Conflict resolution and mediation theory guide the therapist in facilitating compromise and shared agreements.
  Example: “You want more togetherness, while you need more space. How can we create a plan that honors both needs?”
• SMART Goals for Dyads
  Theory: Organizational and goal-setting theory advocate for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound objectives.
  Example: “You will practice active listening during disagreements at least twice per week and discuss your experiences in our next session.”
• Empowerment of Both Voices
  Theory: Empowerment and feminist therapy ensure both clients feel their needs are acknowledged.
  Example: “Let’s make sure both of you feel these goals reflect what you each want from counselling.”
• Clarifying Roles and Expectations
  Theory: Structural and contract-based models prevent misunderstandings by clarifying roles.
  Example: “My role is to facilitate your communication, not to judge who is right or wrong.”

4. Intervention and Change Work

Theoretical Concept and Purpose

This is the active phase where the dyad works to change unhelpful patterns, build new skills, and deepen understanding. Interventions are grounded in communication theory, behavioral models, emotionally focused therapy, and systemic approaches. The aim is to disrupt negative cycles and foster healthier, more adaptive ways of relating.

Advanced Skills & Techniques

• Communication Skills Training
  Theory: Behavioral and communication theories teach and model effective expression of needs and emotions.
  Example: Coaching the dyad to use “I-statements”: “I feel hurt when plans change without notice.”
• Emotion Coaching and Validation
  Theory: Emotionally focused therapy helps clients recognize, express, and validate each other’s feelings.
  Example: “Can you reflect back what you heard your partner say, and acknowledge their feelings, even if you see things differently?”
• Conflict Resolution and Problem-Solving
  Theory: Problem-solving and negotiation models guide structured steps for resolving disagreements.
  Example: Identifying the issue, brainstorming solutions, evaluating options, and agreeing on a plan together.
• Role-Playing and Behavioral Rehearsal
  Theory: Cognitive-behavioral and experiential therapies use these techniques to help clients practice new behaviors.
  Example: Simulating a difficult conversation and practicing de-escalation techniques with therapist feedback.
• Reframing and Systemic Interventions
  Theory: Systemic and narrative approaches encourage clients to see problems as patterns, not personal failings.
  Example: “This isn’t just your issue or your partner’s—this is a cycle you both get caught in. How can you work together to change it?”
• Homework and Between-Session Tasks
  Theory: Behavioral and solution-focused models emphasize practice and generalization outside of sessions.
  Example: Scheduling a weekly check-in to discuss feelings using skills learned in session.

5. Evaluation, Consolidation, and Termination

Theoretical Concept and Purpose

This phase involves reviewing progress, consolidating gains, planning for future challenges, and ending the formal counselling relationship in a constructive way. Drawing from relapse prevention, termination theory, and strengths-based approaches, the focus is on empowering the dyad to maintain changes and handle future difficulties independently.

Advanced Skills & Techniques

• Progress Review and Feedback
  Theory: Feedback-informed treatment and outcome monitoring involve reflecting on changes and ongoing challenges.
  Example: “Looking back, what changes have you noticed in your communication? What still feels difficult?”
• Relapse Prevention and Future Planning
  Theory: Cognitive-behavioral and systemic models anticipate setbacks and develop coping strategies.
  Example: “If you notice yourselves slipping into old arguments, what can you do differently? Who can you reach out to for support?”
• Celebrating Successes and Acknowledging Growth
  Theory: Strengths-based and positive psychology approaches reinforce positive changes and self-efficacy.
  Example: “You’ve both worked hard to listen more and react less defensively. That’s a significant achievement.”
• Termination Rituals and Closure
  Theory: Ritual theory and narrative closure suggest meaningful endings help consolidate gains.
  Example: Writing letters to each other about what they’ve learned, or creating a shared list of relationship strengths.
• Resource Referral
  Theory: Community psychology and aftercare planning ensure continued support.
  Example: Suggesting workshops, books, or support groups for continued growth.

Integration and Flexibility

Dyadic counselling is inherently non-linear and iterative. The therapist must remain flexible, revisiting earlier phases as new issues emerge or as the relationship evolves. Theories such as systems theory and process-oriented therapy emphasize the importance of ongoing assessment, alliance maintenance, and adaptability. The therapist’s role is to continually monitor the relational climate and intervene as needed to support the dyad’s growth and resilience.

Summary Table

Conclusion

Dyadic counselling is a complex, systemic, and highly adaptive process. It requires advanced understanding of relational, systemic, and communication theories, as well as the ability to flexibly apply a wide range of therapeutic skills and techniques. By intentionally and thoughtfully progressing through each phase—while remaining attuned to the evolving dynamics of the dyad—therapists can foster deep healing, improved communication, and lasting positive change. True mastery in dyadic counselling is not only about technical expertise but also about humility, creativity, and a commitment to ethical, client-centered practice.

1. https://ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com/web/direct-files/attachments/11335328/a8535b14-b698-4c40-9557-8d972a5c8bf5/paste.txt
2. https://ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com/web/direct-files/attachments/11335328/bc2c2660-ede7-4477-8433-ae9a21fd658b/paste-2.txt
3. https://ppl-ai-file-upload.s3.amazonaws.com/web/direct-files/attachments/11335328/3f39db8a-268f-46ce-ae3d-6c2368e27490/paste-3.txt